Kellye Garrett

Two Lies Tuesday (The NSFW Monday Edition)

Welcome to the latest edition of “Two Lies Tuesday.” If you’ve ever played “Two Truths and a Lie,” then you’ll know exactly what to do. You’ll just do it in reverse. Read on to see if you can catch me in a lie.

As anyone who’s lived in L.A. will tell you, celeb sightings are a dime a dozen. Celebs are to L.A. what zombies are to The Walking Dead. They’re everywhere. The Grove. The grocery store. The car next to you at the light. Of course, that doesn’t make every sighting memorable. In honor of my main character’s celeb-obsessed BFF, Sienna, I’m sharing another one of my favorite celebrity encounters. You can check out last month’s edition here.

Can you guess which of the following actually happened to me?

Option 1:  I got stuck in an elevator with the Rock. 

Option 2: George Clooney and I once checked out Janet Jackson’s breasts. 

Option 3: Mark Wahlberg flipped me off in traffic.

Can you gues the truth? I’ll wait.

Brit Brit Waiting

Did you say Option 1?

Sadly, this is still not true. Not to go all “The Secret” on you but I’m clearly hoping that if I say it enough times, I will speak it into existence.

Did you say Option 3?

Nope. Although why do I feel like there is someone out there who does have a “Mark Wahlberg flipped me off in traffic” story? Probably several someones.

Did you say Option 2?

Please don't sue me for using this image without paying for it. Thanks in advance!

Please don’t sue me for using this image without paying for it, but I had to share J.T.’s face! Thanks in advance!

Pat yourself on the back (or ask someone to do it for you) because you are indeed correct.

For those who don’t know, Janet Jackson was the pre-Beyonce Beyonce. In fact, she was probably Beyonce’s Beyonce. That is until she made the fatal mistake of having Justin Timberlake help her flash her breast during Super Bowl XXXVIII. At the time, I was a broke grad student interning at George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh’s production company, Section 8.

Soderbergh lived in New York at the time, so I never met him. But George came to the office almost every day. And that included the Monday after the Nipple-gate. Like the rest of the country, it was the topic-of-choice at the office. It didn’t take long for the conversation to turn to the breast itself.

Me, being the good intern that I was, volunteered that I had a picture of said breast at said event on my Excite email account. Don’t ask me why I had a picture. Maybe I thought the more people who saw a close-up of Janet Jackson’s boob, the better. Also don’t ask me why I had an Excite.com email account. Maybe I thought I was too cool for hotmail. Who knows?

George and the assistants all crowded around while I opened up my KellyeGarrett@excite.com account and looked for said photo. (Mind you, this is 2004, so internet was slooooow. George was hovering over me for a long time. Not that I was complaining.) After what felt like forever, I finally got the picture open and we all leaned in to look. We quickly ascertained that there was something on said breast. We just weren’t sure what. Me being young and naive—that’s my story and I’m sticking to it—I insisted that it was a pasty. George, however, begged to differ. He thought she was wearing nipple clamps. He seemed pretty confident about it, too. Maybe he’d seen one up closer before. Who knows? I still wasn’t 100% convinced. So we all leaned in even closer.  Sure enough, George was right. Janet Jackson was, in fact, a fan of the nipple clamp. Who knew?

If I learned nothing else at my internship at Section 8, I learned never to question George Clooney’s ability to recognize a nipple clamp.

If you want to see the NSFW photo (and I know you do), click here!

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3 thoughts on “Two Lies Tuesday (The NSFW Monday Edition)

  1. Hanging out with George Clooney? That’s about as good as celeb stories get. Mic drop. I would be jealous, but to me the real point of this story is that I just got that much better at my own personal version of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon!

    Like

  2. Pingback: See and Be Seen: The Locations of Hollywood Homicide | Chicks on the Case

  3. Pingback: See and Be Seen: The Locations of Hollywood Homicide

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