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Patty Cake, Patty Cake, Baker’s Man…

I’m a writer, which means I’m good at one thing: procrastination.  I’ve perfected my  technique like nobody’s business. My procrastination game is strong, y’all. And as a perfectionist, I’m always looking for ways to improve my craft. My latest obsession: Watching cooking videos online.

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Before you say, “Been there, watched that.” I’m not talking spending 30 minutes in Julia Child’s kitchen while she walks me through each step of making a beautiful cheese souffle. (Though it did look good when I spent 10 seconds watching the video to confirm that Julia Child indeed cooked in a kitchen.) I’m on the cusp of being a millennial. Ain’t nobody got  time for that.

Julia Child

My faves are the current crop of videos where all you see if literally just a pair of hands taking you through an entire recipe in 60 seconds or less.

My life has not been the same since I stumbled upon Instagram accounts like Buzzfeed Tasty, Facebook pages like I am Baker, and websites like Delish.

No matter the recipe, they always make it look so easy—thanks to a combination of quick cuts and a musical soundtrack that sounds like elevator music on steroids—and so good—thanks to a closeup of the final product, piping hot, and ooey-gooey.

Buzzfeed Tasty Instagram

In the past month alone, I’ve learned to cook brownie bottom peanut butter cheesecake, mozzarella sticks inside fried beef, pig picking cake, mozzarella sticks inside a croquette, key lime pie dip, and mozzarella sticks inside a waffle-maker.

Are you jealous? Or maybe just plain hungry?

The best part? Despite having watched probably 100 videos, I haven’t cooked a single thing. Sure, I always start the video with the best intentions. Yes, I’m going to bust out this BBQ Chicken Monkey Ring when I finally have that dinner party I’ve been telling people I’m going to have for four years now.

I’m resolute until about the 30 second mark. Then they usually add something like jalapeno and I’m like, “That would require a trip to the grocery store. Kellye Out.”

And then I click on the next video and start the process all over again.

What about you guys? What are your current obsessions? Do you also love these type of sites? And have you ever actually cooked anything from them?

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19 thoughts on “Patty Cake, Patty Cake, Baker’s Man…

  1. Kellye, you are so funny! I am pretty much the same way, but my daughter scours the internet for recipes and actually makes them. I am going to show her the breakfast skewers because I know she will make them for us, and they look soooo good!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Kellye, too funny. Every once in a while I get an itch to have “something different” for dinner. i research the recipes, find something that sounds/looks good, and see that it needs something I don’t have in my kitchen at that minute. Then it becomes “Oh, maybe next time” and I make the same boring thing.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Great post, Kellye! I, too, watch cooking videos as a spectator sport. But my real go-to is home improvement shows, watching people tackle remodeling feats I know I’d never attempt! (I struggle with hanging pictures on the wall.)

    Liked by 3 people

  4. OMG, I am SO hungry right now! I don’t go to the sites you mentioned, but I do watch the videos when they pop up on FB and they are totally addictive. The one I feel lured toward making, but probably won’t, is the toast marshmallow that’s then hollowed out and filled with mousse. I’m salivating as I write this. Now I want to go find that video again!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Easiest thing to make is foolproof fudge. Takes 18 ounces chocolate chips, melted. Stir in a can of Sweetened condensed milk, a dash of salt, and vanilla. Put in a 8×8 pan. Chill, cut, eat.
    It’s been around since I was a kid. That’s before microwave ovens, for you young’uns.
    I actually have several dvds of JC cooking. I love her humor. You have to realize she drinks as much wine as she uses in the recipes. That is the way to cook!
    She is my current obsession. However, I have no one to share the fine cooking with, as my family for some reason does not like French cuisine. They have no clue what they are missing!
    My other obsession? Finding videos of easy home repairs. Of course, when I need them, I can’t find them.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. “Then they usually add something like jalapeno and I’m like, ‘That would require a trip to the grocery store. Kellye Out.’” > HA HA!! My sentiments exactly.

    I love cooking but I loathe making the list and shopping for the ingredients…

    I can procrastinate in myriad ways but the most common is to start one project, then switch to another halfway through. Sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. “Kellye out”? So funny! Like El, I’m mesmerized by those quickie recipe videos when they pop up on FB. They make cooking look like fun. (I know otherwise.) I can’t spare the time or money to actually buy the ingredients I’ll probably never use again. Because, you know, I’m supposed to be WRITING, lol. (Also, I get depressed when I see how fast the sped-up
    chopping is. Takes me hours.

    Like

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