Lisa Q. Mathews

Ain’t Afraid of No Ghosts – Much

Who’s the biggest Scaredy-Chick in our murder-mystery-writing flock? That would probably be me, Lisa. But lately, inspired by the launch of Cynthia’s latest title The Spirit in Question, we’ve had a few interesting debates about the existence of ghosts. I happened to casually mention somewhere that I’d once had a close encounter with a poltergeist, and Marla made me promise I’d give the dirt. So I will tell you the story, if you promise not to think I’m crazy. But no one wants to believe ghosts aren’t real more than I do. Trust me on that, at least.

Back in the eighties, I was a starving editorial assistant (and I do mean always hungry) working in a fancy Manhattan publishing house by day and going home each night to a serious dump of a Brooklyn apartment. I’d tell you the exact address, but these days, the neighborhood is uber-trendy and the landlord is pulling in about four grand each month for rent. (Hipsters are such suckers.)

I was riding the subway home one night, hanging on to a pole and clutching a canvas bag full of manuscripts that had to be read by sunrise, when someone called my name. It was a former colleague whom I didn’t know that well, but she was nice enough. A little out there, maybe, but who isn’t?

She asked if I might be in the market for a new apartment (the answer is always “yes” in NY), because she was moving in with her new boyfriend in Boston and needed to sub-let hers. She didn’t want to actually give up the apartment, in case things didn’t work out, because the rent was only $350 a month—and fully furnished.

I literally dropped the heavy bag on my foot. Three-fifty? That was half what I was paying in my drafty studio in Carroll Gardens. I was all in—sight-unseen—even after I learned there was a catch to the deal. I’d have to take care of her two cats, because her boyfriend was allergic. I was fine with that. “And there’s a poltergeist,” she added.

Of course I’d heard of the now-classic movie that had come out a few years before, so I’m sure I had a half-shocked, half-horrified look on my face. “Don’t worry,” my acquaintance said. “A poltergeist is just a mischievous teenager spirit—you know, with a lot of energy. This one is a 14-year-old boy. You’ll be perfectly safe.”

Yes, I would, because she was totally crazy.

I moved in the very next month. It turned out that the apartment was on the bottom floor of a former carriage house, located behind my landlord’s home. Another young woman lived on the top floor, and she was home even less than I was. To get to the carriage house, we had to let ourselves in through a locked gate and then cross a courtyard under a long, grapevine-covered (my landlord was Armenian) pergola. Once inside our house, we had individual entrances to our apartments. They were dark, musty, and old-school (ie my kitchen was bigger than my living room and bedroom combined), but no worse than most of my publishing friends’ apartments.

I was mostly busy or gone and didn’t notice any paranormal activity, thank goodness. The only problem was the cats. They were extremely skittish, and entirely destructive, leaping across furniture and knocking objects to the floor. Sometimes I’d enter a room to find a framed print askew on the wall. They hated me, which hurt my feelings. I couldn’t remember what my friend had told me their names were, so I called them Satan and Damian. Most of the time they just stared down at me from the tops of the floor-to-almost-ceiling bookcases, shooting me death-glares.

One night after work I stood outside my apartment, fumbling for my keys. I finally found them and, just as I reached out to unlock the door, I was stunned to hear a loud click—and the door opened, right in front of me. By itself. I figured it was some weird burst of interior house wind, but when I stepped cautiously inside (yep, just like those movies where the babysitter simply must investigate the creepy basement where the killer is lurking, even though you are yelling at her not to), I found my vacuum cleaner right in the middle of the living room. And it was running.

I knew for sure I hadn’t left it there. And there was only one exit from the apartment, so no one could get out without me seeing him or her. Truthfully, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d vacced, but the place was clean enough. Had my landlord’s elderly mother let herself into my apartment to spruce things up and then walked out with the vac still running?  Annoyed by this invasion of privacy, l glared accusingly at the usually-intimidating cats on their bookcases. They should have scared her away.

I turned off the vac, yanked the cord from the outlet, and headed to the bedroom to check my messages. The little red light was blinking twice—yay! I pushed “Play Message” and got…a blaring vacuum on the tape. I quickly went to the second, entirely separate message—and it was the vac again. How was that even possible? To use the answering machine as a tape recorder (if someone really wanted to tape a vacuum) you had to push two buttons down at the same time and hold them there. I doubted my landlord’s mother, who didn’t speak a word of English, had been involved in such a ridiculous endeavor, or that Satan and Damian were that talented with their paws.

And then there was that click I’d heard in the hallway. Who had opened my locked door for me?

I guess I’ll never know. And I’d like to say I dumped the cats and found another apartment pronto, but…remember, $350 a month. But now that the rent is up to 4K, do you think it’s my duty to clue those hipsters in? Or at least warn them not to step into the light…

Readers, do you have a true ghost story for us (or one that could be true)? Or maybe you had a truly terrifying rental apartment. Let us know in the comments!

41 thoughts on “Ain’t Afraid of No Ghosts – Much”

    1. Actually, if Satan and Damian had talked, I think I would have moved a lot faster. (I now own a black cat, and she does enough talking at mealtimes.)

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  3. I’ve never had a haunted rental. But I swear there was a spirit living in my dorm room my sophomore year. The spot over the closet was *cold* all the time (plaster walls) and we couldn’t get anything to stick there for love nor money. Not even with duct tape. Our last attempt literally went flying across the room.

    He also used to leave blank messages on our answering machine. We called him George. As long as we didn’t try to stick anything above the closet, he behaved himself.

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  4. Lisa! You are so much braver than I am! NO way I would’ve walked into that apartment by myself! But, seriously, a ghost that does housecleaning — sign me up!

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    1. Funny, I didn’t think of the housecleaning benefits at the time. I’m not sure how much “cleaning” was actually accomplished…mostly just noise and the suprise factor!

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  8. Lisa,
    How about renting a dorm room for a week? Does that count?

    Last year I went to a writing conference in Texas. It was on a college campus, and I stayed there since I had no car.
    I was going to bed every night at different times.
    As soon as I turned the lights off, I would start to hear knocking. It sounded like one of those knockers on a door. Which I didn’t have. It would happen every couple of minutes for about an hour.
    The noise never happened when the lights were on in my room, only after the lights went out. Happened every night. I was sharing a dorm suite with 3 other ladies, none of which heard this noise. And no, I wasn’t imagining it, no way.
    I think it was the 4th night I had a dream. I was seeing a horse ranch. I got the indication the ranch used to be where the school is now?
    A short Mexican with a huge mustache and traditional Mexican attire, not of any recent century, showed up. Nice smile this man had. His name was Rolando.
    He didn’t speak, but got me the message he had been murdered trying to save some woman from being raped. And he was there to protect me. And then he disappeared.
    I never saw him again, but every night someone was knocking on a door to the suite, after I turned out the lights, and for about an hour.

    I often wonder, was the knocking some bad ghost trying to get in, or was it Rolando trying to protect me?

    True story, I swear! No way could I make that up.

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  9. It would really be scary if the vacuum was running and not plugged in! The house we are living in now is supposedly haunted by a teenage girl who died tragically (according to the previous tenants), but maybe because I’m a skeptic I haven’t seen any signs. Although one hot summer day (we are in Colorado and do not have A/C), I was sitting on my sofa typing on my computer, and suddenly the area around me got freezing cold and I felt a cold breeze blowing down my neck. My husband was sitting across the room and didn’t notice a thing.

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    2. Eeee, Celia! (sorry, my reply to you must not have saved earlier–apologies if I reply twice). Maybe she was just interested in what you were writing…Is she reading this now? Yikes.

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  10. Oh my gosh, Lisa! I have goosebumps. I don’t know if I would have been able to spend another night there after that. You’re brave. And this is beautifully told–genuinely scared me!

    I’ll be sharing a few stories soon: at Mysteristas (holler, Liz!) October 12, here at Chicks with two special guests (not ghosts) October 22, and at Jungle Reds November 9. (Plus potentially one more post here down the road.) Wow, I didn’t realize until typing that just how much I apparently talk about ghosts…lol.

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    2. More reason for our Chicks Haunted Mansion retreat. (Last week I had a convo with a waitress who’d stayed in Lizzie Borden’s house. NOooooo thank you!!! I draw the line.)

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  11. I grew up with a poltergeist. My mom (she is from Germany and her mother’s family is Gypsy) believes that every home should have one, lol. We would get it to do tricks to scare our friends. It also saved my older brother once when we were in Germany. it moved a full barrel we had in the house to in front of the door. The barrel could not be moved by one person alone. When we flew in we could not get in the front door and noticed it had scratches like someone tried to break in. We came around the back (a real pain by the way) and found my older brother asleep and the barrel blocking the door. He used to have plates fly through the air to scare our friends. We still see little things, but no so much. I truly believe in ghosts because I have seen them in action, lol

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    1. Whoa–what an amazing story, Kay! I read that poltergeists tend to attach themselves to people rather than places, but I am really hoping my spirited buddy stayed back in Brooklyn. (The picture frames do constantly rearrange themselves on our bookcase, though. I’m blaming it on that interior-wind theory again, lol.) And I’ve locked up the vac.

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  14. I’m working on a new series and there is a spirit present in the book. When we it came time for me to eliminate the character I had the strangest experience. The passage I had typed started to self delete, one letter at a time as though I had been holding the delete key down. I kid you not. My hands weren’t even on the keyboard. The second time – yes, second time- I bought a new keyboard. Now I back up my files daily. Just saying…sometimes things happen. No ‘splaying it.

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    1. Oh, no, Nancy! That would have freaked me out for sure. And I have a very prominent ghost character in a new series I’m working on right now. Guess I’d better watch my step…

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  15. So glad you decided to write about this for October! What a great story. You had me at “running vacuum cleaner,” but then hearing the vacuum cleaner on the answering machine was the clincher! Great story!

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