Lisa here, with my annual St. Patrick’s Day post–’tis all life as usual, right? I had planned to fly straight from Left Coast Crime in San Diego to celebrate with my sister in Florida, where she is renting a house near the beach for a month. Things didn’t quite turn out, though, so here I am, lifting a cup of cold, badly-brewed coffee to you from a very sober New England. Hey, we could all use a little levity right now. So here’s to you and here’s to me–let’s get this party started!
Whenever I mention that my very favorite holiday falls on March seventeenth, I get puzzled looks. Why not Christmas? Thanksgiving? Fourth of July? Then the light dawns on the doubters: Ohhhh. It’s the green beer, right?
Nope. I am most definitely not a fan of that slimy stuff. Why ruin a perfectly good pint of Harp? Don’t even get me started on green bagels. And Jaysus Mary and Joseph, what are THESE? (Ah, stop yer wingein’–down the hatch!):
I took this pic of my pup Farley when he was just three months old. He is still cute, though not quite as small and fuzzy now. And he’s still the same degree of thrilled about the green bandanna deal. I told him too bad, he is required to wear it, because he is an Irish pet. Every. Single. Year. Sorry, Farley.
This is Lucy. I take this same picture of her every year, because she loves shamrocks and is always willing to pose. Or, at least she doesn’t strenuously object.
What to wear for Paddy’s Day? Well, this year, I guess it will be green jammies. In previous years (and hopefully next year), it’s imperative to hit your local Party Hearty store the day after Valentine’s Day to grab all that cool Irish-themed merchandise before it’s sold out. (Lads, you can leave those Kiss-Me-I’m-Irish buttons at home. Ditto the charming lines about what comes between you and your kilts. We get it.)
And ladies, it’s totally necessary to drag every bright green item of clothing you own out of your closet. Chances are, they will all be somewhere in the back, or buried under everything else, because the last time you saw them was last St. Patrick’s Day. It’s okay that you held onto them, though, because as Marie Kondo demands, they Inspire Joy.
If closet diving is just too much of a chore, or completely hopeless—wait, did you give that glittery plastic top hat to the Goodwill?—then no worries. You can always grab that cute sleep tee you wore for the past three nights as a Paddy’s Day warm up.
Now that you are properly attired, with nowhere to go and all pubs and parades canceled, you can at least eat a decent Irish breakfast (yes, the blood sausage too–it’s good for you). Our great Chicks friend Keenan Powell is an expert on this. And you can give your spirits a boost and set the mood by downloading all those musical classics as you check out the latest breaking global news: Whiskey in the Jar? Molly Malone? Danny Boy? The Pogues? And in the privacy of your home, you can show off those championship Irish dance skills. A regular Michael Flatley, y’are!
Just for fun, here’s a pic of me with the super-tall guy who leads the police bagpipe band in the Manchester Irish parade. He poses with people every year, if you ask very nicely. Or buy him a Guinness.
Remember, there’s no crying on Saint Paddy’s Day. No fuss, no stress (except maybe that closet hunting deal), and no need to cook other than that breakfast I mentioned, unless you simply must boil up your own corned beef and cabbage. Not one of my faves, I have to admit. Probably the only things left at the grocery store right now, lol.
So here’s to St. Patrick. May he drive the snakes from everywhere on the planet and sic ’em on the coronavirus. Slainte!
Readers, what will YOU be doing on St. Patrick’s Day? Or…what do you wish you could do?