Dear Stores: When did everyone start saying “Welcome in” instead of just “Welcome”? And how did this begin? Was there a memo that I missed?
Dear Designers: Can we please talk about the High-Low Hem concept? Sometimes it’s short in the front and long in the back (aka the “mullet of hemlines”) but sometimes it’s short in the back and long in the front. It’s confusing. And while we’re on the subject, whoever thought, hey, you know what we need? A “shark bite” hem! Was there a strong demand for a style that says, “I am someone who narrowly escaped a sea struggle earlier today”?
Dear Offices: If we confirm that we will be at the appointment in response to your text message, why do you then follow up with additional emails and calls? Will you not trust us until we have confirmed the confirmation’s confirmation?
Dear Voicemail: You always ask me to press 1 for normal delivery and 2 for urgent delivery. But what happens if I actually do press 2? Does someone’s phone start flashing like the Batphone? Related question: why was the Batphone at the Commissioner’s office kept under a glass cake dome while the Batcave one just sat out on the desk?
Dear Streaming Series That Release A Few Episodes Upfront, Then Change Into A Weekly Schedule: How about releasing them all at the same time instead? Many of us have been transformed into binge-watchers now. It’s not our fault; our brains have been rewired. And if we wait weeks and weeks until they’re all out to watch the show, then going on social media in the meantime is a risk, as we are likely to happen upon the spoileriest of all spoilers. Please save us!
What are you wondering about these days, lovely readers?