Kathleen Valenti

Hidden Dangers

As mystery readers and writers, danger is never far from our minds. Turns out, it’s never far from our homes, either.

Our collective abodes are rife with hidden risks, like slippery bathtubs, defective wiring, or—if things get interesting—ice cream sprinkled with rat poison.

But lesser-known dangers lurk in our lives, as well. Here’s a quick overview featuring my recent brushes with peril.

Errant Emojis
Maybe it’s just me, but I think the “haha! that’s hilarious!!” emoji shouldn’t be right next to the “oh, gosh, that’s rough” one in the reaction selections beneath Facebook posts. I’ve lost track of how many times I have accidentally chosen the “haha” rather than “care” emoji in response to a serious Facebook post, then had my phone glitch so I couldn’t immediately change it, putting me in social media jeopardy.

Problematic Punctation
Likewise, I’ve typo-ed my way into dangerous territory by erroneously using a question mark instead of an exclamation point. It really changes the sentiment when you say “Congratulations?” or “That’s great?” or “Wow?”

Disposal Dependency
So listen. I grew up sans garbage disposal and spent the majority of my adult life using that household helper as if I were being charged by every use. But now that I have one of my own, I grind with reckless abandon. Last week, it mysteriously stopped working, and I was adrift in the kitchen, convinced that I couldn’t do ANYTHING unless it was operational. It made me wonder what would have happened in Fargo if the woodchipper were non-operational.  

Using the Closet as a Time Machine
Before I moved, I went on a pre-packing purge to edit out items I didn’t want to transport. This led me to try on clothes from the Regan administration “just to see if they fit.” The short answer: they did not. The long answer: one dress was so tight that it got caught betwixt shoulder and head, strangling me within its Gunne Sax folds. Fortunately, was able to free myself Incredible Hulk-style before the authorities found my lifeless, Swiss dot-encased body.

Sweeping
Last year, I injured my wrist—not by snowboarding or playing rugby, as I imagine people think I do on a regular basis, but by sweeping. Previously, I hurt my neck by—get ready—smiling too big. I felt a twinge and couldn’t turn my head for days. On the plus side, my posture improved dramatically.

What hidden dangers have you confronted? Did you prevail?

Photo by kat wilcox on Pexels.com

39 thoughts on “Hidden Dangers”

  3. I’m a chronic sufferer of Problematic Punctuation, Kathy. Those darn keys on my phone are so small!
    The other day, my neck started hurting and I have no idea why!?! I can’t help wondering if it’s because I slept in a weird position to accommodate kitty cat Maria. She refuses to comment, so the cause remains a mystery.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  6. Great post, Kathy! I tend to auto-correct incorrectly on my phone–whoops. And I’ve encountered closet drama. My latest mini injury is scratching the roof of my mouth with a cracker.

    Also, one of my kids chipped her tooth by biting down hard…on cooked pasta (OK, it was technically the fork tine).

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  7. Hi!

    I apologize for hijacking this blog today but wanted to send HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to 2023 Agatha Award nominees – Ellon, Jennifer, Cynthia, and Lisa Q!!!!

    Back to the regularly scheduled programming:
    1) I use the ‘-‘ in lieu of proper punctuation all the time.
    2) I’m what my former boss called a ‘comma queen’ and still struggle not to use them frequently (albeit in what I do think are the proper places).
    3) I suspect I overuse exclamation points!!!!!

    4) I’m with Mary on the challenges of auto-correct, particularly when it changes a person’s name and I don’t catch it in time. Argh!

    Looking forward to seeing, hopefully, everyone at Malice Domestic this year when the Chicks take home all the teapots.

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

    2. Aw, thank you so much, Ruth!!! We are all thrilled. And yes, boo to autocorrect! I’ve been handed some doozies, most including a few words I swear I don’t use.

      Liked by 3 people

      Reply

  8. Kathy, your post had me in stitches (like, almost literally!). I recently pulled out my elbow with the vacuum cleaner (a very lightweight one I’d insisted we needed). And really, I have made so many embarrassing typos lately I can only hold my head and scream like the (hopefully correct?) emoji. PS: I know better than to enter my closet. I just stick my arm in and grab something without looking.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  10. Both houses that we own /have owned have or had garbage disposals that we put in but we rarely used them as we were on septic tanks. Just use them to get rid of detritus that escapes. So, I am used to not using them. When I grew up–no dishwasher, no clothes dryer, no microtorch, etc. Now our dishwasher and microtorch are not working and Hubby Dearest won’t have people in the house, so no fixing and just going back to the old days. We have a portable microtorch in the basement, but I just can’t carry it up the stairs anymore and it takes up too much counter room. Food is actually better in oven, etc. I hate the texting thing that changes your words and if you don’t go back and check the text it goes out how they want and makes no sense sometimes.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  11. Not to make light of your injury, but I’m so impressed you actually injured yourself by smiling — and at the same time I’m not all that surprised.😲

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s