Jennifer. J. Chow

Realizations

For the last three weekends, I’ve been busy with bookish or writing-related activities. It seems like I haven’t had a “real weekend” in forever. While my hubby mistakenly believed the other day was Pi Day, I honestly thought, “What day is it even?” Case in point: When I went into the grocery store recently, I saw a Cheerios box with the word “Mom” on it; for a moment, I figured it must be because Mother’s Day is happening soon.

The special Cheerios is actually for American Heart Month.

Doing all these events has yielded certain realizations:

1. I am definitely an introvert. Social busyness drains me, and I feel my energy getting lower and lower. (But I still do believe in the power of introverts a la Quiet by Susan Cain.)

    Can I take a nap here? P.S. This is at the Google campus in L.A./Playa Vista.

    2. Author partners are the best! I so enjoy having conversations instead of flying solo. Plus, they remember to take photos when I don’t. Huge thanks to Naomi Hirahara, Gigi Pandian, and Sybil Johnson (in pics below, from L-R)! Up next: I’ll be chatting with Iris Yamashita in Pasadena at Octavia’s Bookshelf this Saturday, 3/16, at 6pm.

    3. Reader friends and fans are amazing! People really do come out to see you, and I’m almost moved to tears every time.

    4. I usually go down a rabbit hole of researching themed swag, but, hey, look at these cute fortune cookie bath bombs!

    5. Also, I realize that I have conversation quirks, like “talking” with my hands. Here’s the evidence:

    What have you realized after doing an event or activity?

    26 thoughts on “Realizations”

    1. Excellent summary, Jennifer. After several life seasons, and achieving many goals, I no longer hunger to repeat processes. As I’m found of saying: “The 6th grade — toughest 3 years of my life.” All kidding aside, congratulations are in order for achieving goals. However, the temporal rewards require careful thought before undertaking new goals. My lifetime highs and lows are an energy map. On reflection, some events charged my batteries while other drained them. For me, interactions keep my social skills fresh, but too much “peopling” drains me, so here’s my takeaway: too bad it takes decades to realize what you want is not always what you need.

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    2. Congrats on all the fun appearances, Jen! One of the things I’ve learned is that, during an event like a signing or a convention panel, I am in “performance mode.” It’s like a switch has been flipped to the On position. When the event is over, the stitch goes back to Off. I spend a lot of energy being On and always need recovery time afterward.

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    3. Jen, I agree it’s always more fun to share a promo event with other authors–and I love meeting authors new to me, as well as seeing good friends. I think I’ve learned, as I start to put myself out there again (with a book not even out until Aug!), that I’m always terrified before the event, whether in-person or virtual–but once I get up there, I’m so grateful and happy to see and talk with people. Afterward, I usually do something like go out to dinner, before I go back to my regularly scheduled author life (and worrying about how I might mess up the next event).

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      1. I’m amazed by how kind writers are when I reach out to them and ask about doing an event. Both established and newer authors are happy to share the stage.

        That’s a great idea about going to dinner–a reward to keep us going when we have so many events strung together.

        Also, can’t wait for THE JIG IS UP!

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        1. I’m with you, Jen … I will never do an author event by myself. It’s so much more fun with other authors!

          And my realization lately has been how bad I am at small talk these days. I’ve never been shy or worried about an event (aside from anxiety that nobody will show up … egads), but since I spend so much time by myself and have been married for 40 years, I’ve completely forgotten how to have a normal conversation with people. And the people I *do* talk to are friends or family and they know I’m a goofball. So I’ve been trying to be more aware of that. Can’t say it’s helped yet, however ….

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          1. You know what I’ve realized lately when doing small talk? I totally forget to look people in the eyes. I’m pretty sure it’s because I’ve been Zooming so much that I trained myself to look at a camera lens instead of a face.

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    5. I too get a bit of the jitters before doing an author event, but always end up having tons of fun once it begins. Because what could be better than hanging out with a bunch of folks who love books?

      I used to always fly solo, but I recently got up the nerve to ask fellow authors to interview me for my last and upcoming book releases, and was amazed when the two of them (both rather famous in their genres of food writing and literary fiction) said yes! Authors truly are the best!

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    8. I love the fortune cookie bath bombs! Those are perfect. And I agree that events with other authors are more fun. It gives me a chance to fangirl, too.

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    9. These are great observations, Jen! (And those bath bombs are the bomb!)

      My most recent realization is that I often “yes and” things without thinking through if I really want to “and” or even “yes.” I’m learning to take a moment before answering.

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    10. As a teacher for 38 1/2 years, I have always used my hands. It is just part of me. I love that you do also. I have started reading Seniors Sleuth novels and I love it. I have read everything that you have written except this series, and I have two of them. I also have your newest Ill-Fated Fortune and that is next. Keep on writing. I love your books and characters.

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    11. I bet people are thrilled to meet you, Jen. And I don’t trust people who don’t talk with their hands. Congratulations on your new book!

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