All of us Chicks love attending writers conferences–other business travel, maybe not so much. Some great times and some…well, not-so-great…but we always have stories to tell!
Lisa Q. Mathews

When I was an in-house editor, I was invited by one of my authors to a wonderful conference for YA and children’s writers in the Northern Midwest. Upon arrival at the airport, I was met by a group of authors who would drive me to the conference center/hotel. On the way, I was startled to learn (as they had been) that the conference was being held at a retreat center run by an order of retired nuns who had taken vows of silence. If you know me in person, you can imagine my panic–I have a hard time keeping quiet on occasion. Of course, we writers conference attendees weren’t expected to be silent, but the other group we shared the facilities with was. Communal mealtimes were very, very quiet. My tiny room held a single iron bed with a small white towel and a little bar of Ivory soap on the pillow, a nightstand with one drawer, and a cross over the bed. A nun was on duty down the hall, so you can bet we all turned in early–and quietly. At one point during the conference, I wandered into a room with a labyrinth set out on the floor and a single burning candle in the center. I tried it out and found the experience very peaceful (no Minotaur!). The last night, we had a lovely potluck-style dinner, with the local authors bringing all kinds of delicious food (hot dish!). And…wine. Lots of wine. No one had realized that alcohol was against the rules at the retreat center. A passing nun did check in on us, but she stayed silent and we all drank the wine and giggled like badly behaved schoolkids. To be honest, I was sad to leave.
Ellen Byron

My first book, Plantation Shudders, had the honor of being nominated for Best Debut Novel at Malice Domestic. I hosted a table for the first time and one of the guests loudly proclaimed to everyone there that I was going to win because every nominee she ever sat with won.
Well, guess who didn’t win?
Talk about awkward! After I lost to the wonderful author Art Taylor, an embarrassed pall fell on my table. The woman who’d pronounced my success slunk off and slowly the whole table dispersed. I somehow got through the rest of the night, lol. But I’ve never seen that woman at another Malice. If she’s gone to any of them, I think she’s actively hiding from me!
Vickie Fee

My favorite cons are where I get to hang out with other writers. My mostest favorites are the ones where I get to hang out with the Chicks. But, my second most favorite cons are the ones I’ve attended with my sister. She travels for work and puts on presentations mostly for lawyers and judges. I’ve never seen any of the presentations. I slept in. I maybe got a massage, watched a movie on TV. But, when little sister was through with her professional stuff, we would go out to dinner. Sometimes with a friend of hers, but mostly just the two of us. I’ve met her in Chicago, where we had a really nice suite. (It had been booked for her boss, who ended up not being able to attend.) It was actually my second trip with her to Chicago. This week I could have joined her in Atlanta, but Atlanta’s airport isn’t a fave. Next year I may get to join her in Milwaukee, which is only a five hour drive from me. I took some of these trips when I could get a cheap flight. I got to stay in her room or suite for free. A number of years ago, she and I took the Amtrak from Memphis to New Orleans, which was a lot of fun!
Leslie Karst

Not naming names here, but we all know the type: someone who corners you in the hospitality room or in the book room to say hi, then spends the next twenty minutes yammering at you about themselves, their books, their cat, their sciatica….
You smile and nod and keep looking this way and that, hoping for an excuse to excuse yourself. And then you spend the rest of the convention walking quickly the other way whenever you see them, avoiding eye contact in the halls, and doing your best to prevent another long and boring session with the person.
Mind you, 95% of the folks I meet at mystery conventions are absolutely delightful, and I will cross the room to engage them in conversation. (But now that I’ve written this, it makes me worry that there may be people avoiding ME.)
Jennifer Chow

Clearly, my strangest and most surreal conference was Left Coast Crime 2020. I was assured by a fellow writer that “everything is fine” and drove on down. I did get to be on an amazing panel and went to the book room to find the bookseller (and books) not there! And no fans (which, maybe, not so unusual). But then the signs started getting posted on the doors to leave the hotel…
Kathleen Valenti

I have loved every crime fiction conference I’ve attended. (#blessed) Although the year I was up for an Agatha at Malice Domestic was memorable and amazing, my very first conference will always remain my favorite. I walked in as a baby novelist, absolutely terrified, which I covered with copious cups of coffee and anxiety-driven humor that would have made Chandler Bing proud. (e.g. Leaning over to a fellow elevator rider when nearly everyone got off and whispering, “And then there were two.”) But I was quickly swept into the warm embrace of this incredible, loving community. I’ve never felt more at home–and I’ve never looked back.
Readers, do you have a writers conference or business trip story to tell–or a travel tale from Hades? Share in the comments below!

Loved reading about my fellow Chicks con experiences! Lisa, yours reminded me of my fave Odd Couple episode, where Felix and Oscar go to a monastery. Vickie, the cons with your sis sound kinda like heaven. Leslie, I’ve avoided – and been! – that person. Jen, I was at LCC 2020 too, and I forgot the bookseller bailed. And Kathy, yes… the warmth. Xoxo
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Ooo, I love the Odd Couple, El! Not sure I saw the monastery episode–but surely I must have. But when we assume…(my fave episode!)
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El, going to a conference without actually going to the conference can sometimes be the way to go!
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Fun review of what can go wrong. Thanks for sharing!
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Loving the travel stories, and I want to follow Vickie’s footsteps—tag along on a trip for fun and just relax, get a massage, etc!
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Back in the day, I tagged along with Nancy to San Diego for a conference she was attending. Turned out, we were staying at the same hotel as the Chicago Cubs, her favorite team. They were in town for a series with the Padres.
I shared an elevator with Cubs broadcaster Steve Stone. We hung out at the pool with Cubs players Shawon Dunston and Rey Sanchez, who were on the injured list. The highlight was when we dined at the table next to Cubs legends Ryne Sandberg (Nancy’s favorite player of all time) and Mark Grace. She got to chat with them for a bit and got Ryno’s autograph. That was a lot of unexpected fun.
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Wow, what a stroke of luck, JC! I’ve heard a lot of baseball-hotel stories from my husband, who used to go spring training stuff in AZ (his best friend worked for the Mariners). The stories are pretty much unprintable, though, lol. Love that the injured players were hanging out at the pool. Ah, the life!
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Wow, what an amazing experience that must have been, J.C.!
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J.C., that’s awesome!!
You reminded me I was once in the elevator with Sara Paretsky at Malice and she told me she was jealous of my hair. Swoon!
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I love that!!
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Yes, Jen! SOs used to get to go along on my hubby’s trips, so I was able to do that, but those days are gone, I think, sigh…
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Chicks, Hestia here.
I have attended Malice off and on since 2004. Best times ever! Especially the year there were like 6 of you there, and I got a picture of all of you!
I bet Leslie was talking about me, because she avoided me at the banquet this year, when I said I needed a picture of the two of us in our finery. JK girl, I think I saw you one time all night, rushing off to meet someone.
Lisa, I have attended a religious retreat hosted at the kind of place you described. It was definitely quiet.
My most awkward conference was a writing one I attended in Texas. An entire week of writing. And I was the only one there writing in the mystery genre. So of course no one had any critiques they could give me, because they didn’t understand the writing a mystery concept. I felt so alone that week! Lesson was learned. Pay attention at writing conferences, but make sure you do intel first!
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Hopefully that writer retreat made for some decent future plot ideas, Hestia! Have to admit, I would probably be watching and listening to all the other writers and not keeping my eyes on my own work.
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Lol, Hestia! And dang! So bummed we didn’t get that photo together in all our finery! Next year, for sure!
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Ellen, I remember that Malice!
So far, every mystery con I’ve been to – even the year I did Malice on crutches – has been lovely. Although this year, the Marriott has STILL not released the original hold on my credit card, even though the actual charge has posted. So the hold is showing on my card balance, but as pending. Here’s praying I do not have to call Marriott on Monday and argue with them.
I have to make my first day job “business” trip to Salt Lake City later this summer. Here’s hoping that doesn’t become a nightmare trip to remember.
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Liz, hope your Salt Lake City trip goes well. Do keep us posted!
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Liz, lol! And ugh re: the credit card hold. What a pain. I hope it’s resolved pronto.
And can’t wait to hear how the Salt Lake City trip goes!
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Oh, Lisa! Your Communal Conference experience is priceless!! Thanks to all for sharing your experiences.
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Thanks for reading, Mary!
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Leslie, my cat and sciatica are doing just fine, thanks for asking.
Jennifer, 2020’s Left Coast Crime was surreal. It reminds me of one of those dreams where you are some place but everything is off. I feel sorry for authors who traveled and didn’t get to do their panel because things were canceled. I’m thankful that my first time moderating a panel was a success. (Thanks for being a great panelist, Leslie.)
On top of everything else with LCC 2020, that Thursday was the day the company I work for (cruise company) announced our first pause in operations. That felt surreal on top of everything else going on that day. When the rest of the con was canceled, I checked out and drove home immediately and worked on Friday instead of having the day off. I’m glad I did, too, because I wound up with a huge project that next Monday so I was glad I cleaned up my to do list on Friday.
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Lol, Mark! And yes, that LCC panel with you was terrific–glad we ended up on Thursday, so at least we got something out of that con!
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OMG, that was such a hard time. I remember seeing Kim Keeline weeping when it was canceled. She and Lisa Brackman had worked SO hard to make it happen. But Mark, you were a terrific moderator and the panel was great!
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Such a surreal experience!! It was kind of a last hurrah before everything changed. I think that was my last con, as well!
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We miss you!
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Miss you all! ❤
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Just keep writing so that we fans can enjoy. So sorry that some experiences were bad. Think about doing one in either Milton or Alpharetta, Georgia so I can attend.
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