Kathleen Valenti, Mysteries

Danger isn’t my middle name.

As mystery writers and readers, danger seems all around us. Dark alley lurkers. Poisoned parsnips. Weaponized anacondas. (I’m just guessing on that last one.)

But lately, I’ve encountered some unexpected hazards. At the keyboard.

You see, Danger isn’t my middle name. It’s Typo. And sometimes Emoji-o (which should totally be a word).

I’ve previously spoken of accidentally using the wrong emoji reaction on Facebook. I think having the Laughing Head right next to Sad Face is just bad planning on Facebook’s part. Is it my fault that I click on Laugh in response to something terrible that’s happened? Well, yes. But the point is, I really wish it wasn’t.

But emoji-os don’t just happen on Facebook for me. A couple of weeks ago, I had the acute embarrassment of signing off a work missive with a hot dog emoji instead of a heart. I. Was. Mortified. The upside? Now Ian and I use hot dog emojis as I-Love-Yous.

Carcinogenic processed meat cylinders are my love language.

Punctuation is also perilous.

It’s amazing how much the tone can change when using a question mark instead of an exclamation point.

The proof:

Wow! —-> Wow?

Good for you! —-> Good for you?

Impressive! —-> Impressive?

Great job! —-> Great job?

The list goes on. And so could I. Instead I’ll ask you, dear readers: have you made a funny typo? Emoji’d erroneously? What are some accidentally hilarious dangers of late?

22 thoughts on “Danger isn’t my middle name.”

  2. Kathy, I chuckled all through this with my coffee! Yes, I emoji-o often–and the problem for me is, often they have “meanings” past the literal–and it goes right over my head. (Goodbye eggplants, doughnuts, etc.) And I have added that laughing head inappropriately as well. I’m not much better in the typo dept. At work I used to regularly type “Idiot” instead of “Editor” at work. (Assistant Idiot, Associate Idiot, (never just “Idiot,” for some reason), Senior Idiot, Executive Idiot). Sadder still, no one ever seemed to notice.

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  3. I’m the king of typos. My fingers don’t do what I think they should do. Or they type part of this word and part of the next word I’m thinking of.

    But I want to know why you are using a heart for a work email period. I can’t think why I would ever do that. I don’t love my co-workers that much.

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      1. That makes sense. I guess I was looking at this with my accountant brain. 🙂

        And yes, I do use a smilie face in emails for work. And I especially do it on IM/chats at work.

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  4. Oooof–yes, I’ve clicked the laugh instead of the cry on too many occasions to keep track of. I hope I caught them all, but if not, sorry to whoever I laughed at when their great aunt passed away!

    And speaking of emojis, I think Facebook needs more of them. Where’s the “yummy” emoji? Or the rolling eyes emoji?

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    1. Agreed, Leslie! There are so many better ones we need!!

      And Kathy, it’s not hilarious or dangerous, but I can’t type “anthology” correctly on the first try. Normally not a problem, but I’m editing one right now, so … *facepalm emoji*

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  6. Definitely done the emoji-o, especially on the phone. I really should enlarge those emojis! And I’ve totally laughed at something when I should’ve sent the crying face.

    This reminds me that we were watching Inside Out 2 the other day, and there’s a scene with the Sar-chasm, where everyone on one side says something & it totally gets warped to the listener across the chasm.

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  8. Kathy, love this! I’m the world’s worst proofreader – as many of my readers will tell you, lol.

    I’ve been thinking about using my name typos as real names in books. But Blber may not translate well to Robert. Rboert as I just accidentally typed it, might work though! 🤣

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