(Once again, Bruce Springsteen’s song is painfully appropriate.)
I’m no stranger to cataclysmic events. My first date with Jer was postponed by the L.A. riots. Our wedding venue was red-tagged right after the Northridge earthquake. My father was working in the Empire State Building on 9/11 and my brother worked downtown. Eliza and I evacuated for Hurricane Ida and watched the New Orleans power grid fall into the Mississippi.
But nothing I’ve experienced compares to the conflagration that struck the city I’ve called home – often reluctantly – for almost 35 years.
2025 got off to a terrible start with the terrorist attack in New Orleans, a city I know and adore. I grieved with NOLA and made a graphic:
A week later, hurricane force winds were predicted for Los Angeles. The morning of Tuesday, January 7th, I saw a cloud formation I’d never seen before. It freaked me out so much I took pictures of it and posted them online, joking that it looked like a spaceship was about to land.
If only. Instead, the fires came.
We watched in absolute horror as the wind-driven flames flattened entire neighborhoods. When two new fires broke out near us – one across the street from a friend – we packed up our cars, my teeth chattering from nerves and fear and worry for our friend.
We were lucky. The winds were mild that night and the extraordinary firefighters knocked down the flames. But instead of feeling relief, I felt – and continue to feel – survivor guilt. Every day I hear of more people I know personally or peripherally who’ve lost everything, or friends whose homes are still standing but currently uninhabitable. As one friend wrote, “I have never been instantly homeless before, and though our house still stands, it is not livable, and not in a livable place. It will take a while. Remediation of smoke damage and toxin-removal ahead.” His husband describes their once-lovely neighborhood as an “enormous Superfund site” and estimates it will be a year before the couple can return home. That’s assuming remediation works. Homes not incinerated may still be a total loss due to toxin absorption.
The fires knew no class distinction. The Eaton Fire tore through an incredibly diverse neighborhood of Altadena, home to generations of Black, Brown, and Asian homeowners. The Palisades fire laid waste to a neighborhood ranging from apartment dwellers to seniors who’d spent decades in their homes to the very wealthy. I texted a friend who’s a successful showrunner. She wrote back, “We lost our beloved home of thirty years. Every nonliving thing that was precious to me is gone.” You cannot put a price tag on grief, much as some horrible people seem hellbent on doing right now instead of offering sympathy and support.
I’ve been handing out money like we’re made of it. I’m on multiple waitlists for boots-on-the-ground volunteering. I used my birthday as a fundraiser for a deeply moving project launched by the daughter of former neighbors who moved to the Palisades and lost their home. Ashley and my daughter were Brownies together. Now Ashley is connecting volunteer artists with bereaved homeowners to create illustrations of their forever-gone homes and Eliza is one of those artists.
Nothing seems like enough, though. I have friends who went through Katrina. I know what lies ahead for the decimated neighbors of Los Angeles and it’s not good.
There have been odd moments. I learned a couple had divorced when the woman, who I know for a fact lives in Studio City, posted a Go Fund Me campaign for her apparently ex-husband who lost his home in Altadena. And there have been darkly humorous moments too. As I filled my car with bags of clothes to donate, it occurred to me that if I had to evacuate at that exact moment, all I’d have with me are clothes I’ve gotten too hefty to fit into.
I’ve had a fractured relationship with Los Angeles. It can be a very lonely place. It can be hard to build a community here. But I have. Many of them. A community of the television writers and crews I worked with. The mom friends I made while our daughter was growing up. My dance friends from the dance fitness classes I take. My wonderful circle of local mystery pals. And our neighbors here in Studio City.
I love our home. I love the hills I walk almost daily, often witnessing glorious sunsets in the mountains west and north of us.
Hard as it can be to love the City of Angeles, love it I do. So, last week I revised my graphic:
Readers, has your city ever been struck by a disaster or tragedy?
Chicks on the Case 
Unfortunately my city has had it share of disasters – Superstorm Sandy and 9/11, and other numerous smaller-scale terrorist plots
LikeLiked by 3 people
Your city is my hometown, so I feel your pain with every tragedy. Xoxo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugs, Dru Ann!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ellen, I am so sorry. I am fortunate that Indianapolis has never had a tragedy on the scale of NOLA or Los Angeles. Fifteen years or so ago, the stage collapsed between sets of a Sara Bareilles/Sugarland concert at the Indiana State Fair. The cause was extremely high winds. The injuries and loss of life could have been avoided if the promoter had headed weather warnings.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I remember that! I didn’t know Sara Bareilles was opening for Sugarland, though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, she had finished her set and left the stage only minutes before the scaffolding came down.
LikeLike
Ellen, the pictures are heartbreaking. I don’t think Pittsburgh has ever had anything on that level. There was a microburst storm in the late 90s, but it wasn’t as epic as some other cities. We’ve been very lucky.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Liz, I thought of you because of Tree of Life. I know those murders weren’t a natural disaster, but weren’t they near Pittsburgh?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, they were right in Pittsburgh in the Squirrel Hill neighborhood.
LikeLike
I’m so sorry, Ellen. I have many friends in L.A. some of whom lost their homes, or had to be evacuated, and I feel helpless here in Sac. We’re doing what we can from far away, but know that we’re here to help.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Jennifer, that’s so kind of you. I understand the feeling of helplessness. But the support means a lot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No one who has not experienced natural disasters can truly understand how devastating they are. Ellen, you eloquently showed us what they mean. I feel powerless but I have donated money to various organizations. Being 2000 miles away prohibits actual hands on but I will continue to support organizations like World Central Kitchen and the Red Cross. My heart goed out to all of Los Angeles because everyone suffers not just the people who lost their homes. There is trauma for everyone. Take care and be strong
LikeLiked by 3 people
Christine, as someone who loves New Orleans, you know the long tail of Hurricane Katrina. It’s what we’re facing here in L.A. for some once-vibrant neighborhoods.
LikeLike
My heart breaks for you and your fellow Angelinos. I am trying to share the fundraising initiatives that come my way.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s so kind, Judy. Thank you.
LikeLike
My heart goes out to you and your fellow Californians, El. Here in New England it has become much clearer that climate change is creating havoc throughout the area–though of course NOTHING like the scale of the horrible recent disasters in other parts of the country, especially LA. Our neighboring state of VT recently suffered incredible losses (including lives) due to massive flooding with the destruction of historic downtown areas, bridges and roads. It’s jaw-dropping to see the buckling and sinkholes (very difficult to navigate remote areas when there are fewer large roads) and heartbreaking for small business and historic structures. We are beginning to be affected by wildfire smoke in the summers, also, especially blowing down from Canada. I have only been to California a few times, but it is such a gorgeous state, filled with resilient and determined people. I have no doubt they will come together to rebuild, and LA will rise triumphantly from the ashes.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lisa, I thought of Vermont and those awful floods. And Asheville, NC and environs too. How anyone can deny climate change at this point is mind-boggling. And thanks for the good thoughts.
LikeLike
Thank you for this post, El. I’ve managed to somehow avoid the larger natural disasters (only minor earthquakes) until now. Like you, I’m trying to give where I can, and it’s heartbreaking to know so many individuals and families who’ve lost so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad you missed the Northridge Quake, Jen! And that the fires weren’t a threat to you and your family.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad to know you are doing all right. Yes, these disasters take a horrible toll and people and their community. I live in the Florida Panhandle, and we took a direct hit from Hurricane Michael in 2018. My family and I were incredibly blessed that, even though the eye passed directly over us, we suffered very little damage compared to neighbors, friends, and colleagues, who either had to repair or replace their homes. Most took several years. One neighbor only just got his new house a couple of months ago. Recovery from a disaster as widespread and horrible as the fires in your area could take decades.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is so true. The length of time it will take to rebuild is almost incomprehensible. Your neighbor had to wait six years for a house! But I glad you personally got through it unscathed.
LikeLike
I’ve experienced earthquakes (in particular, the Loma Prieta quake of 1989 which was destructive and very scary), been near fires (Malibu burned several times when I was growing up in Santa Monica and we’d choke as we rode our bikes to school; and then I had to pack my car for evacuation during the Santa Cruz Mountains fire five years ago).
But I’ve never experienced anything that comes close to what LA has been experiencing these past few weeks. It’s just horrific, and breaks my heart to see my hometown burn. And burn. And burn. We’ve been doing what we can by sending money, but I can’t even imagine what’s going to happen with so many newly-homeless people in a city that already had such a severe housing shortage.
LA Strong.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I know this is personal to you because you grew up here, Leslie. xoxo
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ve been right there with you the last couple of weeks. Watching carefully in case something starts by me. Trying to monitor my friends who live near the fires. (The Alta Dena one, don’t think I knew anyone impacted by the Palisades, but I could be wrong.)
And, of course, this is giving me flashbacks to 2017 when my brother and his family lost their home to the fire up in Santa Rosa. I’ve never liked fires/Santa Anna wind season, but since then, fires have hit very differently for me. And, from the sounds of things, they struggle worse than I do with all of this, which makes total sense.
You are right, we are in for a very long recovery now.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I thought of you and your brother’s loss. I know from my NOLA friends how deep and long-lasting the trauma of losing a home is. I hope the new winds don’t come your way, Mark!
LikeLike
I am so fortunate to have never lived through or been directly impacted by a natural disaster. The images from L.A. look like they are from a horror movie to me, because my brain is struggling to accept that they are real. While not a natural disaster, I lived through the killing of 4 Kent State students and the wounding of 9 others by the Natioal Guard. The events surrounding the shooting caused many hard feelings in Kent for many years. I was young but have distinct memories and remember the tension among adults. And I fear that our political situation today may produce similar events. I hope not! I send good thoughts to L.A. and wish I could donate more, but I am heartened to see so much support for those who have lost so much.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Any penny donated is a penny someone didn’t have before, so bless you. And honestly, just sharing sympathy for L.A. is so important right now. The fact there people actually reveling in the destruction is unfathomable.
LikeLike
The fire damage is so sad! Thankfully my brother’s apartment survived in Studio City.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Your brother is in Studio City?! That’s where I live!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m struggling to know what to say because everything I could say just feels so inadequate. Thanks for sharing this. It’s heartbreaking from afar; I can’t even imagine what it’s like being in the middle of it. xoxo
LikeLiked by 2 people
P.S. I remember when you posted that cloud; now it feels like an omen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Doesn’t it??? How freakish is that?!
LikeLike
I echo your sentiment. I know so many people who have lost their homes, businesses, jobs, and/or schools in the fire. It is devastating, even to those of us not directly in the fire’s path. I’m hoping we call all pull together and begin the long road to recovery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I pray people heed this and DO pull together instead of judging each other.
LikeLike
I’m so, so sorry, El. Thank you for this post. My heart goes out to everyone affected by the fires–it’s tragic. You’re right about donating not feeling like enough but at least we can do that from afar. 💔
LikeLike
My heart breaks for all who are affected. As you know, I grew up in the Pasadena area. We hiked and camped in Eaton Canyon. Our high school played Altadena in sports. My father taught high school in nearby Monrovia. I know the Santa Ana winds well.
But until this disaster, it was mostly earthquakes and smog we worried about. I remember the Sylmar quake well, and all the summers when the beautiful San Gabriel mountains weren’t visible from two towns south because of the asthma-inducing smog.
I love seeing all the efforts to support and lift up residents, and have sent money to several good organizations (including the art one).
LikeLiked by 1 person