Chick Chat

Chick Chat: Who Worked it Worst?

Who hasn’t suffered through a terrible job–or an even more insufferable boss? Just for fun, we Chicks are holding a little contest to see who had the worst job or most challenging employer. And of course everyone is welcome to play. Cuing theme song…

Lisa Q. Mathews

Scariest boss? She could have been the inspiration for Meryl Streep’s character in The Devil Wears Prada (except publishing, not fashion). She struck fear in every heart as she strode down Editorial Row each morning, her cape flapping like bat wings. She was especially fond of announcing at 4:45 on a Friday that if every last reader report wasn’t filed by Monday morning we assistants were all fired. We took turns filling in for her admin once a week (who was probably in a sensory deprivation tank somewhere). This boss and the CEO were having a torrid affair, so my job was to keep people away from the corner office when the door was closed. And write endless reject letters to authors and agents. I also emptied her humidifier every few hours in her private washroom. I did such an awesome job she asked me to replace her regular admin. I quit instead.

 Ellen Byron

I’ve had some crappy jobs in my time, but I believe I can win this contest with one sentence: I gave away menthol cigarette samples on Lexington Avenue in Manhattan wearing a barbershop quartet-type hat made from styrofoam.

Next!

Marla Cooper

Reading Lisa and Ellen’s entries, I see I’m already out of the running! I’ve never had a truly terrible boss, and the bad jobs I had were replaced as quickly as possible. Probably the worst? When I was in high school looking for a summer job, there was a furniture warehouse that wanted people to start immediately. (First red flag.) We got paid on commissions but, as it turned out, nobody wanted to buy hotel-grade furniture out of a large, un-air conditioned warehouse in the heat of summer. (We were also expected to dress up to stand around in the un-air conditioned warehouse.) After one day with exactly zero sales, I quickly decided sales jobs were not for me and I never came back.

Cynthia Kuhn

Was glad to have this temp job, but it was beyond monotonous: Drove to store, found light bulb aisle, removed light bulbs from shelves. Counted them and recorded results on clipboard. Put light bulbs back on shelve in perfectly straight lines. Went to next store. Did it again. And again. All day long. (Also apologized to shoppers who asked for help because although it looked like I worked there, I didn’t know where anything was, besides light bulbs.) Eventually started to dream about light bulbs too…

Vickie Fee

For a very brief time I drove a forklift. I never learned to back it up. I could only drive (badly) forward, then circle back around without hitting something. I obviously didn’t last long. I really believed if I could make it through Day 1, that someone would actually teach me how to back up on the second day. I stood around assuming this would happen. It didn’t. I eventually went home. I didn’t get fired. I did eventually get mailed a check for a partial day of work. I think I win the prize for being the worst employee to receive a paycheck!

Leslie Karst

Thinking I might beat Ellen here. Between my undergrad years and law school, I worked a bunch jobs while moonlighting at night as a New Wave rock ‘n roll singer/songwriter/guitarist. The jobs were varied, including waiting tables, gluing together pieces of porcelain jewelry, and working at an after-school day care. But by far the worst was when I spent a couple months working at a diaper service.

Yes, it’s what you think it is. Parents would throw their babies’ used cloth diapers into a container which would be picked up weekly and brought to a huge laundromat-type place, where I would place them into washers, then dryers, and then fold them for reuse. Not the most glamorous job in the world, that’s for sure. But they paid CASH. (And I do have to add that it’s a shame this model has gone out of fashion, because it’s so much more green than disposables….)

Jennifer Chow

My first job was at my family’s restaurant (though I didn’t get paid); I was kitchen prep and tasked to literally spend hours peeling carrots (hello, orange hands!) and potatoes (hello, brown hands!).

One of my most difficult jobs was working at a tiny, startup nonprofit. I had to do everything there, from running out to get office supplies (we need a new stapler!) to cold calling for donations (people would either be dismissive or tell me their life story). We were expected to work super long hours—even through tragedies; one day, my colleague burst into tears and asked me why I’d ever convinced her to take the job!   

Patricia Sargeant

Friends, selecting my Worst Boss was a tight and highly competitive race between two deeply disturbed individuals.

From The West Coast, I had “Dude, Seriously?” This editor-in-chief literally laughed in my face when I told him that although I had the title of assistant editor and took home the salary of an assistant editor (barely), I was doing the work of a managing editor. He was all guffaws. But it doesn’t end there. When he finally – finally! – named his managing editor, he told her to ask me to train her. Dude! Seriously?

Despite that worthy opponent, I decided to go with – drum roll, please! – “Queen of the Damned,” a boss so vile, loathsome, aggressive and full of hate that you could smell her presence like sulfur lingering in a room for hours after she left. And that’s not hyperbole, folks.

Readers, first register your vote in the comments for which Chick had the best (worst?) job/boss story. Then add your own! Everything is entirely confidential on the World Wide Web, of course. (Seriously, you might not want to use real names, lol.)

49 thoughts on “Chick Chat: Who Worked it Worst?”

  1. Worst job, I worked in the sub-sub-sub-sub basement of a medical lab. Didn’t even make it to day 2 and didn’t get paid for the one day of dreadful work. I’ve blocked it out that I don’t know what I did.

    Question for Leslie, was the diapers badly soiled?

    Ellen, what you described is very familiar to me. Hmmm, was that you?

    Lisa, I had one of those bosses…I, too, worked in the publishing industry.

    Patricia, I had one of those bosses too.

    Still can’t make up my mind who had worst job.

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      1. If there is one noise I can’t stand, it’s fingernails on styrofoam or styrofoam being torn apart. The worst. Were those hats…hot in the city? And did you have to share them with other employees?

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    5. Dru, what is it about publishing bosses, lol? And yup, in this worst-job contest, everyone’s a winner!

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    2. Liz, my Mad Man dad briefly did advertising for a Wendy’s franchise. He thought they were brilliant for turning leftover hamburgers into chili! (Although they insist they don’t do that, lol.)

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  3. Oh, I have a collection of bad bosses, one of the worst was the guy who would not make a decision if he didn’t have written guidelines to direct it. One night I stayed late to accommodate a favor to the woman who promoted him and she actually had the nerve to tell me that everyone in the company knew I was doing his job. Then I had another boss who would come looking for me if I wasn’t sitting at my desk. I was a professional who had managed teams in previous jobs. In that job I was a technical writer and needed to meet with the developers to get the information needed to do my job. I also helped the VP of another department with her customer focused communication. This micro-managing control freak actually walked into the VP’s office, uninvited to see what I was doing. I won’t even go into the 8 hour night shifts spent sweeping cookie crumbs off factory floors!

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      1. I was lucky enough that a short time later he got a new boss and I had to opportunity to give the new guy a few examples of what I was dealing with. I think he heard it from a few others as well. My then ex-boss found himself doing something that required not actual decision making, just rote work.

        The micro-manager was more challenging for longer, but the VP whose office she entered uninvited had a few words with her boss and his boss! She backed down a bit. I actually ignored her a lot and just did my job. Amazing what happens when you get the work done!! (Besides I used to work directly for her boss!)

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  4. Wow, I loved reading all these stories! Though I must say that I’ve never heard of being a light bulb checker, Cyn! And Leslie: I have friends who definitely still use cloth diapers! (But I don’t envy you that job!)

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      1. I used a cloth diaper service for youngest, Leslie–he was allergic to something in the disposable ones. I remember my mom kept used cloth diapers in a bucket of bleach until the service came to pick them up. By the time they did, the diapers were well-sanitized,ha.

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    1. Oh, my gosh, Leslie! I was thinking of Lisa’s boss and The Queen of the Damned meeting, too. Not sure it should happen. Such an encounter might tear a whole in the time space continuum and open a portal to an unholy place. 😳

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    1. Sometimes it is said that the the chemicals in the sanitizing/detergents are worse than the plastic.

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  8. I’m voting for Marla. One day was a good call on that job.

    When this question comes up, I jump to a job I had for a few months. It was temp to hire, and I knew after the first week I didn’t want to be hired, but the agency that placed me there wouldn’t attempt to place me anywhere else. The boss would yell to get his point across. And he’d shake his finger, too. The company itself had some strange policies, too, like only earning vacation time when you were working. So if you took vacation time (or holidays), you didn’t earn vacation during that time. I was so happy when I landed another job.

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      1. This would have been 2014, so maybe it was right around when we met. (When did your first book come out?) Or maybe I’ve just talked about it before.

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      1. I can’t sell anything, Marla! And I take all rejections personally. My hubby has always been in sales, and he does not understand.

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  9. The Styrofoam hat gets Ellen the win (although Leslie’s was definitely in the running, and Patricia’s dude is rage worthy).

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  10. I love this conversation so much! So much fun hearing everyone’s stories… and I can’t play favorites so I’m just going to declare it a big tie!

    That said, Vickie wins for Most Surprising! That’s amazing!

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  11. I love (I mean, hate) everyone’s terrible jobs! No losers here except for the horrible employers. I’m wondering though–are bookish people drawn to such character-growth opportunities, or are they designed just for us?

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  12. i’m sorry Ellen, but I thought that was numerous. Leslie, as the mother of 5 before disposable diapers, I understand.

    When I was 7 months pregnant, with no car, I found a walk to job in a chicken processing plant. For 8 hours a day I stood at a conveyor belt gutting chickens,1 every 8 minutes. I was the only English speaking non-korean employee. I actually wrote a short story about it called It Takes Guts. At times of high stress I can still smell The factory.

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