Behind the Book, Patricia Sargeant

Talk to Me

Dialogue can make or break a story. Would you agree?

There are so many rules to writing good dialogue.

  1. Characters have to sound different enough from each other that readers would know who’s speaking without reading the dialogue tags.
  2. Conversations must be realistic but not too realistic since most people put a lot of fillers in their speech: um, er, you know. No one wants to read those mental pauses.
  3. And of course, dialogue must move the story forward. It must have a purpose.

I agonize over dialogue. Is this too similar to what my protagonist has said before? Have they said this same thing in another book? Has someone else said this in another book? I often have to force myself to keep writing and worry about the dialogue in revisions. Otherwise, I’d spend hours—if not days—in the same exchange.

That’s what happened with Murder by Page One, my first Peach Coast Library Mystery. The cozy mystery starts with a book signing at the protagonist’s best friend’s bookstore, but I couldn’t figure out how to open the scene. It wasn’t any scene, though. It was the first line of the first scene in what was the first book of my then-new cozy mystery series. Talk about pressure.

My amateur sleuth is a chocoholic. The bookstore owner had used the lure of chocolate to convince the sleuth to attend the signing. I decided to use a placeholder for the time being, then I’d revisit the line later. For my placeholder, I’d have the amateur sleuth say to her best friend/bookstore owner, “I was promised chocolate.”

I promised myself to go back to the opening line later to fix it. However, when my manuscript due date came, I couldn’t think of anything to replace it. I turned in my story, still trying to come up with a stronger, more gripping opener. Nothing came to mind. However, to my surprise, my editor liked the opening line, so we left it. Thankfully, readers liked the line, too.

I recently asked a group of readers for their favorite movie lines. Those lines had one thing in common. They expressed emotions people could most relate to: love, anger, courage, determination, surprise.

I love dissecting dialogue in books, movies and TV shows to identify the reason it sticks with me or turns me off. For example, in the remake of “Ocean’s Eleven” with George Clooney and Julia Roberts, there’s a great exchange when their characters, a divorced couple, are reunited after several years. Julia Roberts’s character expresses a lot of anger. In contrast, George Clooney’s character reveals a lot of love. Sometimes when the movie comes on TV, I’ll watch it just to see that scene. Then I’ll turn off the TV. (I know how the movie ends.)

Readers, what type of dialogue resonates best with you? Do you like to be inspired, amused or shocked?

Bonus question: Is there an author whose dialogue you especially enjoy reading?

23 thoughts on “Talk to Me”

  1. You are right most dialogue is important to the story I do enjoy a little back and forth between characters. It tells you who the character is by what they say. Deborah

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  2. I want dialog that moves the story along, that helps me know the character a bit more, that feels true to the character. Someone who does it well in my opinion is Jenn McKinlay.

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  3. I’m a great fan of the fast-talking repartée in the 1930s films of directors such as Frank Capra and Howard Hawks, and I sometimes try to incorporate a similar style into my mysteries.

    I love writing dialogue, but agree that it’s difficult to master it, yet so very important for the story! (BTW, that’s a brilliant first line, Patricia!)

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    1. I’m a fan of fast-talking repartees, too. Ha! (I wasn’t able to get that accent above the e. Annoying.) That’s what George Clooney and Julia Roberts have in that “Ocean’s Eleven” scene I’m so in love with. I’m in love with a movie scene. Ha! And thank you so very much for your kind words about my first line. xoxoxo

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    1. I love the way you put that, Jen. “…dialogue that makes me feel.” I’m going to write that on a sticky note and put it on my laptop.

      I admit to being relieved that I’m not the only one who struggles with dialogue. LOL! Misery loves company. Ha!

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  5. Great opening line!

    I love dialogue that’s of its time. AKA, this line in THE LADY EVE about handsome Henry Fonda: “Every Jane in the room is giving him the thermometer.” I quote this ALL the time when I talk about dialogue. You can only have that line in a 1940s movie.

    I like to create what I call, the language of each character. Basically, finding ways only that character could say that line. I was trained as a playwright that a dramaturg should know who’s talking without looking at the character’s name because their dialogue is so distinctive.

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    1. First, that “Every Jane in the room…” line is oh so awesome. Thank you for sharing it here.

      Second, “the language of each character”! Exactly. I make notes like that, too. Ha! So if a secondary character walks into a room and says something the three main protagonists didn’t hear, the painfully polite protagonist might say, “Could you repeat that, please?” The businesslike protagonist might say, “What did you say?” The terse protagonist might say, “What?”

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  6. Patricia, what a thought-provoking post! Speaking of movies, I like Kathleen Kelly’s (Meg Ryan’s) lines in You’ve Got Mail: “I love daisies. They’re so friendly. Don’t you think daisies are the friendliest flower?” They tell you all you need to know about her character (also, I happen to agree). I actually enjoy writing dialog–probably left over from when I used to write YA.

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  7. As a chocolate lover, I adore — and relate to — that opening line! You could lure me into just about anything with a chocolate bribe.

    And by the way, I love, love, love writing dialogue. The banter between my main character and her best friend is so much fun to write! I love hanging out with the two of them in my head.

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