Lisa Q. Mathews

The 90s Called: They Want (the Real) You Back

Titanic. Forrest Gump. Jurassic Park. Harry Potter. Bridget Jones’s Diary. Clueless. Pulp Fiction. Whitney. Grunge, prep, and hip hop. The 90s nostalgia is real. Did we ever really say Bye-Bye-Bye?

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” ~ Ferris Bueller

I almost missed that line from John Hughes’s (80s, not 90s) movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when I heard it delivered in the theater. And that quote is the whole point of the movie. I guess I was focused on something else. Or possibly many somethings.

But years later, my son, born in 1990, used those words as the theme for his Common App college essay, and I suddenly recalled them clear as day. Fortunately, my son has pretty much taken Ferris’s life advice. I try. Most of the time.

It’s hard these days, because the world is spinning extra fast, continually shedding AI slop like potter’s wheel clay from the movie Ghost (1990). But with all the nostalgia right now for the 1990s, those last oblivious years before media became a 24/7 digital dump, I have to admit I’ve been completely sucked into those “Mom, what were you like in the 90s?” reels.

I tried to find some 90s photos of me—not to post, just to visit—but very few exist. For one thing, I was a mom, so I was the person mostly taking the pictures. Not great ones, either. I used those instant Kodak cameras (a store right across from my office developed them, if and when I even remembered to drop them off), and occasional Polaroids. The quality was poor at best, blurred with the colors way off, and no digital filters to produce perfectly curated snapshots of a moment. But the photos have heart, I guess, and it’s clear they were not for sharing. Just remembering (and tossing the worst of the worst in the real-life trash bin).

This morning I scrolled my phone in bed, procrastinating my day/wasting my life reading about the Carolyn Bissette/JFK Jr TV show I will probably never see. Apparently the “younger” generations, many of whom weren’t even born in the 90s, are fascinated with the days when people were forced to live their lives in real-time. The ones who got their news from tabloid newstands or watching Dan Rather or Connie Chung.

Here are a few shots from my IRL, imperfect 90s.  

Yup, women did it all. Here’s me and 2 of my kids in our napkin-sized Brooklyn apartment, off to do errands (note the BandAids on my son–and my wristwatch):

This is my daughter here. I was struck by the way she rolled on her way to play in the park. (Look, Ma, no Ipad!)

Here I am “dressed up” at the Country Music Awards (a spousal work event). This is the same Gaylord Opryland where Bouchercon was held recently, but outside on a balcony. No matter that you can’t tell that; this was pre-Insta. I still have the jacket. Just wore it yesterday.

I was shocked to find I had zero pix of me from Random House, or any of my other publishing jobs. Guess we were just too busy. But here’s me (sort of) at an event for Teen Magazine, 1998:

Uh-oh. Now I’m afraid I’m wasting your time, Readers. Please forgive the serious nostalgia, but I may have shed a tear or two this morning wishing I could go back (taking all my friends and family from the present with me, of course). I even jotted down (on paper, with a pen) the names of my fave-but-long-forgotten 90s minimal-makeup shades I just saw on Insta. (Twig; Suede; Rice Paper; Russian Red…)

Hey, I may need those notes on my way to the 90s-era Macys cosmetics counter. Because I’m leaving my cell phone here in the 2020s.

Anyone? Anyone?

Readers, what are you most nostalgic for from the 90s…or are  you strictly focused on the future?

37 thoughts on “The 90s Called: They Want (the Real) You Back”

  1. Pre-digital was the best because if you wanted information, you had to do some research/use resources at hand. I also think it was carefree and innocent because you didn’t know what a person was thinking unless you ask (as opposed to letting us know your thoughts good or bad on social media).

    I think more people came together as one pre-digital.

    What I would miss now that we are digital are the friends we made along the way. So like Lisa said, I’ll talk pre-digital if I can bring my digital friends with me.

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  2. Lovely post, Lisa! Thank you! What am I nostalgic for from the 1990s? Besides my waistline? I’m a bit nostalgic for the days pre-college athletic conference realignment. When the Big 10 conference only had 11 teams instead of the 80 or so it currently has. And a lot of the songs. Rhythm Nation by Janet Jackson. Still love it.

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    1. Funny, Jennifer!

      I went to college in the 1980’s, 2 years at Washinton State University and 2 at UW-Madison and I too long for the days of a “real” PAC 10, Big 10, and a Rose Bowl game between the two!

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      2. My apologies, Robin, about my stray reply below, which was supposed to go to Patricia’s comment above, sigh. But so cool that you and Patricia both brought up the PAC 10 et al!

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    2. Waistline, ha! You and me both. I don’t know a lot about the Big 10 but I enjoy amateur sports with true amateurs–and those days are gone in many sports.

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  3. I graduated from high school in 1991; college in 1995. I have photos around – somewhere. I take them out from time to time. I miss the fact I wore a size 2 and the friends I had with me. Back then, I could always wander down a hallway and find someone to hang out with. To be honest, I haven’t had (local) friends like that since 1995.

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      1. I’ve always been a person who is slow to make friends – it’s a Virgo thing, I guess – but when I do, I keep them a long time. I have lots of superficially friendly people in my life, but I haven’t found anyone to really connect with on that deeper level – even when my kids were little, the other moms seemed to already be friends and not eager to let me into their circles.

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  4. I’ve really been enjoying the 90’s flashback posts and have been trying to come up with my own, but I think I’ve only got one flattering photo from then. I love yours! You’re Supermom, doing it all. 🙂

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    1. Ha, thank you, Mary, I’m not sure they’re exactly flattering. I had one that was sooo nineties but the b&w was so fade-y that I didn’t think it would show up here. Probably just as well.

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  5. Star Trek: The Next Generation was appointment TV every Sunday night, along with the early days of The Simpsons. College radio, with bands like 10000 Maniacs, Toad the Wet Sprocket, and R.E.M. was still thriving. You could still watch the Cubs on WGN and enjoy Harry Caray calling the game. You could buy a new car for $7,000 dollars. Mine was a bare bones Ford Festiva.
    The 90s were far from perfect, but man, I have a lot of great memories from that time.

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    1. If I did a compilation reel of the early 90s, the soundtrack would be 10,000 Maniacs. I wore my cassette tape of “In My Tribe” all the way out!

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    2. So agree, JC! The 90s were definitely not perfect, but the engagement was real. The list of bands was so amazing it was hard to choose which ones to put in the intro (it was almost, close your eyes and point).

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  7. Well, I listen to three rewatch podcasts for 90’s shows, so I’m definitely part of the nostalgia. But there are things I enjoy about every decade I’ve been part of (and some that predate me), so I wouldn’t say I’m stuck in that decade.

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    1. Me, too, Mark. I focused here on the 90s because I’ve been seeing so many cool (and touching) memories online lately. I’m also a big 80s fan. I grew up mostly in the 70s but I don’t seem to have the same attachment. (The clothes, ugh.)

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  8. love the photos, Lisa! Honestly, I miss the 80s more than the 90s. I was living my best life as a single New Yorker, clubbing with the likes of Madonna (who was in the VIP section.) I can’t even say I miss my waistline from the 90s because that’s when my tv career started and I packed on the pounds I’ve yet to shed from hours spent parked in writers rooms. Also, I actually have been on Amazon since the late 90s, so digital was early in my life. I’ll tell you what I don’t miss -dial-up!

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    1. That dial-up tone will live in my mind forever, El! And I’m with you on the 80s. Same time, same place. To me, they were definitely more actual fun; the 90s seemed more…angsty and edgy? But now both of those decades seem so innocent (of course, they weren’t, ha, but relative to now).

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  9. I would love to be able to go back in time and see you back in your New York book editor days! I would say that I definitely do not dwell in the past, but I do have a strong sense of nostalgia, even for time periods before I was born. I’m usually focused on the immediate future; i.e. thinking, “everything is going to be so much better next week!” 😂

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    1. That’s the way to do it on the focus, Marla! I’m sort of glad you didn’t meet me in the NY book editor days, because I was always juggling and stressing and running somewhere. (Not that I’m not like that now, ha, but still…)

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  10. Thanks for this trip down memory lane, Lisa! (And I love that jacket on you.) I think I miss hanging out with people, just chilling at a relaxed pace. And I also miss mix tapes even though you can customize digital playlists now…

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    1. I was just thinking about mix tapes the other day, Jen! Assembling playlists is so…eerily convenient. (And part of me thinks, Wait, how are artists getting paid again?) And the jacket–it’s indestructible. I got it at Express in the 90s (also a motorcycle jacket on St. Mark’s in NY that I also still and always will have).

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  11. Love these photos and the trip down memory lane, Lisa! (And I still wear an analog Timex watch, BTW.)

    I pine for the pre-internet/social media days of the ’90s, for sure. And the music, though I’m more of a ’60s-early ’80s music fan, as once I started law school in the mid-’80s, I had no time for music-listening.

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      1. Good plan! That happens to me ALL the time, because I’m so worried about being late. Maybe I can find my tiny 90s one, which was like a bracelet (and hopefully I can read it, ha!).

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      2. Speaking of conferences – shameless plug: I’ll be moderating a panel at Malice Domestic 38 on Saturday morning, DEWEY DECIMAL DEATH: LIBRARY-RELATED MYSTERIES, and it is going to be fabulous! And there will be a giveaway because I’m not ashamed of bribery!

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  13. I miss the GRUNGE. Flannel shirts, combat boots, Nirvana, Singles, Reality Bites. I aspired to be Winona Ryder. The world was easier to travel and yet I’m amazed at all we accomplished in an analog landscape!

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