Patricia Sargeant

Will we ever learn?

Personal experience provides the best life lessons. I firmly believe that.

To be clear, I’m grateful when people share their experiences with me. It shows a generosity of spirit when someone takes the time to explain a lesson they’ve learned just to spare us the same unpleasant experience. And who doesn’t value a cautionary tale? We all strive to avoid those same pitfalls, if at all possible.

There are the straightforward examples that stick with us forever.

  • Don’t touch a hot stove. Check! I’ll heed that warning and avoid that particular pain. Thank you very much.
  • Use the bathroom before leaving for a long—or even longish—commute. Again, check! No need to challenge that recommendation.
  • Pack extra underwear. Why not?
Photo courtesy Pixabay.

There are warnings that strike fear in our hearts.

  • Read every word of your publishing contract. And, after you read it, question the clauses you don’t understand. This is critical. We’re the ones who have to live with those contracts. It’s our signature on the documents. This advice also applies to  vendor contracts, loan applications, etc. Make sure you understand what you’re signing.
Photo courtesy Pixabay.
  • Get a second opinion. If someone tells you something as though it’s a fact, consider verifying their information before repeating it. One of my college journalism professors loved to say, “If your mother tells you she loves you, check it out.” I don’t think you need to do that. We can trust our moms. In other situations, I recommend getting a second opinion. It wouldn’t hurt.

Then there are the cautions you almost need to experience so they leave an indelible impression.

  • Keep an organized filing system. Sadly, this is a lesson I keep re-learning. I use index cards to outline my manuscript, one scene per card. Last week, as I reviewed the outline of a manuscript I’d set aside years ago, I realized it was incomplete. I hadn’t transcribed all my index cards. I also hadn’t filed my index cards in the folder for that manuscript. I wasted a lot of time, searching my office for those cards. Frustrating. I finally found them among a stack of papers on one of my bookcases. (Note to self: Clean office.)
  • Back up your hard drive daily. I’d heard this warning over and over again. Unfortunately, I wasn’t evangelized until my computer kicked the bucket unexpectedly. (This may or may not have had anything to do with a New York Knicks loss. I will neither confirm nor deny this.) In any event, now I’m a hard-drive-backing-up fool.

Questions: What’s one of the best lessons you’ve learned from personal experience? Or what’s one of the best pieces of advice you’ve ever received? Feel free to share both, if you’d like.

27 thoughts on “Will we ever learn?”

  1. Good advice! I’d add: check AND verify. If information seems important, I confirm it using at least two different, qualified sources. Or as my dad always says, “If I assume, I make an ASS out of U and ME.”

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  2. When a busy or distracted person says, “I’ll take care of it.” Follow-up and verify! Four of us planned to attend a play we knew was going to be a sell-out, but three of us were unavailable when the tickets went on sale. A friend said he’d get them. He got busy that morning and forgot until too late. No tickets, no play.
    Patricia, I can relate to your computer back-up incident. Painful, isn’t it?!

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  3. I would same that two time-honored pieces of advice stick with me: trust your instincts, and if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Both apply to all the spam marketing emails authors get these days.

    love your professor’s comment, BTW!

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  4. This all sounds like good advice, but I’m going to have to double check this with someone else first. 😉

    Seriously, I’m blanking on good advice at the moment, but these all sound like good things to remember to me.

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    1. Jennifer, absolutely! Excellent points. I went to an auto service station a year or so ago and told the mechanic I couldn’t read the mouse print at the bottom of the estimate. He told me not to worry about it. I replied, “Do you want me to sign the estimate?” He photocopied the form so it was big enough for me to read.

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  6. Save early and often.

    I am not as good at backing up the computer as I used to be. Part of this is because the computer is new(ish) and the hard drive is not so it takes a loooonng time. I need a new external hard drive and I keep putting it off.

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  7. I remember hearing (then) Prince Charles say during an interview when I was living in England as a teenager that he always takes the opportunity to use the loo if it arises. Good advice, indeed, Charlie!

    Other advice: email your WIP to yourself after every writing session. And if you do happen to burn your finger on the stove or oven element, stick it in cold water for a few minutes–it will help; it really will.

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    1. All excellent advice! Thank you! I email my WIP to myself after every writing session, too, just in case something happens to my backup. Ha! I’m always afraid I’m going to accidentally send it to someone else, though. Ha! (Which really wouldn’t be a “ha,” but you know what I mean. LOL!)

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  8. There’s nothing more frustrating than finding yourself in the same entirely preventable situation over and over again! I’m starting to get to the point where I think a lot about packing ahead of time, but still end up doing it the day before or the morning of. Like, right now I’m thinking about packing for Malice Domestic. Will I do it? Probably not! but I should!

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    1. LOL! I agree completely. I hate looking for things and vow over and over to tackle my filing-system challenges. I always *think* I have, but that must have happened in a different multi-verse or something. So frustrating.

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  9. Two pieces of advice from a mentor:

    1. Just because you know the answer you don’t have to shout it; no one likes a springbutt.
    2. Never pet a burning dog; you’ll burn the hell out of your hand.

    I like to think #2 has some deep metaphorical meaning. Or he may have been pickled.

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    2. My hubby always quotes that burning dog warning. Along with “Don’t eat yellow snow.” It drives me crazy, so he continues to share them, ha.

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  10. Practical advice? Is there such a thing? I don’t know. I’m gonna have to check with ChatGPT about it.

    Here’s my one piece of advice. It’s really aimed at the youngsters, but I’ve seen people as old as me trying to do it, so they seem cool.

    Put away your phone and look the f around when you are outside, in a mall, wherever. Quit looking at your phone, and you might not run into as many people, one who might just go off on you for not looking! The phone is not the be all, end all of life. People miss so much because of the phone addiction.

    My goal is to figure out how to have no internet service or texting capability on any phone for a week. You get to use your phone as what? Here’s a concept, making phone calls! Let’s see how many people internally combust without the stuff that keeps them from living, they just exist!

    Peace out my fellow babies. Gotta go live tonight.

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  11. Whenever there is a problem with a company, credit card, etc., my husband always said, “Write a letter and send it certified.” You can call until you are blue in the face and sometimes something gets done, but if you write a letter, someone has to handle it and do something with it (especially being certified).

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