Happy Black Friday! The Chicks have spent the last couple of years sharing what we’ve been up to on the biggest shopping day of the year. This year, we decided to switch it up and discuss what we wish we were up to. From swanky apartments to synopsis generators, here’s our first-ever list of “Things We Wish Were On Sale Today.”
I have three things due on December 1: Revisions for Hollywood Ending, a short story I’m writing with Ray Salemi and a blog post I’m doing for the awesome guys at Writer’s Bone. So if there was anything I wish was on sale, it’d probably be “hours in the day.” I’d love to purchase an extra hour or two at lunch time. I could write—and shop! I’d also love to purchase “stress reliever” and I’m not talking about a fidget spinner or one of those balls you squeeze. On the flip side, one thing I wish was on sale actually is: my book! (Shameless plug alert.) My publisher is putting Hollywood Homicide on sale tomorrow (Saturday, 11/25) from 4:20 PM – 10:25 PM! Woo hoo.
I have two Black Friday fantasy items. I wish there’d be a BF sale on New Orleans pied a terres. Like, you could buy a two bedroom, two bath on St. Charles or nearby for, oh, I don’t know—a thousand dollars?
My other dream item would be a retirement fund. I’d break down doors like a Walmart shopper if I could buy one of those for a low, low Black Friday sales price. And then use some of the money for that NOLA apartment.
My Wish List for Black Friday: 1) One of the airlines holds a sale that allows me to buy one-year unlimited travel throughout the continental U.S. for $250. This way I could visit all my family and friends, go to all the mystery conferences I want, “research” locales for novels, and take some swell “just because” vacations with hubs. 2) Brilliant new writing software for $10 that takes my scattered notes and messy outline and automatically writes a perfect synopsis. (I want to write the novel myself, no matter how painful. But I’d gladly pass off the writing of the synopsis). 3) New FREE service that allows me to type in name and address of everyone on my gift list. Amazon would then automatically select and ship an absolutely perfect, and affordable, present to each of them before Christmas. *Prime shipping, free giftwrap included.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could buy a bonus month, or even a half-month, which could be neatly inserted between November and December so we could have some extra time to catch up on everything that is supposed to be done now but isn’t?
Also and more importantly: peace for everyone.
Plus some popcorn tins that (a) contain no calories and (b) magically refill themselves when empty.
Wanted: Mary-Poppins-style robot assistant for one adorable (sort of), well-behaved (mostly) writer. If you want this choice position must have cheery disposition. Please blow in gently by umbrella (not drone) by Black Friday. Must be able to snap fingers to organize house, closets, and life in general spit-spot and dispense chocolate vitamin syrup, iced tea, and cash on demand. Must love dogs and tolerate cats. Please never, ever be impatient or cross. Brainstorming, editing and proofing skills a plus. Many thanks. Sincerely, Lisa Banks. (I mean, Mathews.)
What do you wish was on sale today? Drop us a note in the comments below!
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