We Chicks are ALWAYS on top of our fashion games, so of course our holiday outfits are no exception. Extra-festive and on point—or maybe not? We’ll let you be the judge!
One sunny December in Florida, I was irresistibly drawn to the most awesome (and expensive) holiday-themed sweater at Bealls. I didn’t buy it, but changed my mind and went back for it. Sadly, the sweater was gone. I wish I could show you a photo (it had cute, fuzzy-bearded Santas dancing all over it), but this was about ten years ago, when perfectly innocent, over-the-top Christmas sweaters were not yet deemed “ugly.” I searched for it online, with no luck. But I did stumble on an entirely different crazy sweater on eBay. (It’s hard to see in the photo, but there’s all kinds of stuff hanging from the collar and cuffs.) I put in a bid, stressed for three days–and miracle of miracles (or…not?) I WON!!! When the package arrived, I immediately tore it open and tried on the sweater. It was…way too small. I was crushed. Luckily, it fit my mom, who wore it two years ago on her 96th Christmas. She didn’t think it was ugly at all. She loved it. Now it lives in a drawer for sentimental reasons, but maybe, if I cut out the extra Christmas cookies, it will fit me someday.
Okay, so this isn’t the ugliest Christmas sweater I’ve ever owned. But that particular sweater had become tattered and ratty — and you have to maintain standards even on ugly wear. The reindeer with sequin glasses may be a bit on the gaudy side, but stylish too, in a way. That little fuzzy ball attached to the top of its hat is adorable, and I’ll not hear anyone speak against it. Truly, you cannot fully appreciate this sweater from the picture. Little bells are sewn onto the antlers, which jingle when I walk. Jingle all the way. This is a perfect sweater for dancing. It demands one to do the shimmy for sound effects. Will I wear this sweater in public over the holidays? ABSOLUTELY! As you can see, I was on a public street when this picture was taken. And the background of snowflakes on the sweater perfectly matches the current weather where I live. Of course, we usually only have snow in the U.P. until sometime in May.
Oh, I have an ugly Christmas sweater. But for this post, I decided to go with my crazy Christmas dress. The badge I’m wearing reads: “This dress is a cautionary example of what happens when you get suckered into ordering from a Facebook ad.” It arrived from China with zero information on how to return it – no accident there – and initially looked horrible on me. Since I was stuck with the thing, I decided to try and make it work. I ordered a crinoline slip from Amazon. I dug a cinch belt out of the bottom of a drawer. I went to a thrift store and bought red pumps. My daughter was still horrified by the outfit. But guess what? While teens might hold their noses at this get-up, folks of a certain age LOVE it. So my crazy Christmas dress will be front and center every holiday season from here on in. Sorry, kid. That’s what happens when you have a goofball for a mother.
I’ve never partaken in holiday-specific attire, but when I lived in Texas, the older ladies really enjoyed trotting out their Easter cardigans, Fourth-of-July tee-shirts, and, yes, the ugly Christmas sweater. I do have a penguin sweater that I wear every winter, but it wasn’t festive enough to qualify for this project. But I knew this post was coming, so when I happened upon a large table full of ugly Christmas sweaters at Target, I thought I’d try one on and see what all the fuss was about. This one was my favorite, with freakishly long arms that added to its charm — reminiscent of the oversized appendages on the sweater I knitted for my mom back when I was young and ambitious. (She was very touched by the gesture, but I’m pretty sure she never wore it.) Anyway, this sweater wins top marks in my book for its depiction of a manic cat trying to climb (or kill?) the Christmas tree. Did I buy it? I did not. We just don’t have the closet space!
Readers, do you have a fave holiday outfit that’s, er, extra festive? Tell us about it in the comments below. (And feel free to share a pic of your special holiday wear on the Chicks Facebook Page)!
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