The opening line of my first book, Terror in Taffeta, reads as follows:
“The sea-foam green bridesmaids’ dresses had been a mistake. Not for the obvious reason—that sea-foam green bridesmaids’ dresses are almost always a mistake—but because they added a sickly tinge to Nicole Abernathy’s three very hungover bridesmaids.”
It’s no surprise that when I sat down to write about a murder that takes place at a wedding, the first image that came to mind was of a bridesmaid dress. Because let’s face it, they can be awful. I’m still not over my first. I was a flat-chested pre-teen with braces and a bad haircut, and I had to wear a powder-blue polyester dress that only exacerbated the situation.
Thank God the pictures are tucked away in a box somewhere, because, seriously, no one needs to see that. But not everyone is so lucky. Thanks to the internet, a lot of bad bridesmaids’ dresses are just a Pinterest-search away.
My favorites are from the Seventies, because those ladies weren’t afraid of a bold print and they really knew how to accessorize. Take these gals, for example, with their calico dresses topped off with white straw hats:
For this winter wedding, the bride thoughtfully included muffs to keep her bridesmaids’ hands warm, hats made out of the extra craft supplies she had lying around the house, and stuffed animals to round out the photo shoot.
There’s so much going on here with these floral dresses, floppy hats, oversized flowers, and multi-hued gloves, I can’t help but be reminded of an Everything Bagel:
If you’re going to sew your own bridesmaids’ dresses, may we suggest you top it off with a jaunty kerchief?
I notice the bride’s eyes are closed in this picture — and I can’t say I blame her.
Dangly flower balls are the perfect complement to Easter-hued Wiccan robes:
And for the fashion-forward bridal party, let’s not forget bridesmaids’ vests!
(The adorable little flower girl is smiling because she’s the only one who didn’t have to wear a vest.)
Okay, readers, it’s your turn! How have you faired in the wedding-attire department? Any tragic bridesmaid dresses in your past?