Occasionally, for fun, I like to browse the real estate listings in cities I’ve thought about moving to. Move back to Austin? See if I can take the rain in Portland? Try out a small town like Auburn in Northern California?
That’s how I stumbled across my future mansion. I don’t throw around the words “my future mansion” lightly. I’m not really “mansion people.” Give me a Craftsman bungalow any day of the week; anything more than 2,000 square feet is wasted.
But. But! This mansion is different because it is clearly haunted. It was built as a wedding present for a young couple in the late 1800s. It’s been on the market for since last year and the price keeps dropping. Which is all the proof I need that it is haunted.
So, I have a plan — because my haunted mansion is over 5,000 square feet, and for a house like that, you need a plan.
- Fix it up. Ghosts are fun-scary, but some of the wallpaper is just plain old scary.
- Rent it out as a haunted bed and breakfast.
- Also rent it out as a wedding venue, thus collecting more material for my Kelsey McKenna Destination Wedding Mysteries.
- Add a track that runs through it and have my own Haunted Mansion ride. (Sorry Disneyland, I’ll come up with my own name because I know you’re litigious and all that.)
- Throw whodunit mystery dinners (Lisa, you in?) and a Halloween ball.
- Have writers’ retreats, maybe even a writers conference for paranormal writers, because what could be better than a paranormal writers conference in an actual haunted mansion?
- Write a paranormal mystery series based on my haunted B&B/wedding venue.
- Sell the film rights, then lease the house — excuse me, the mansion — out as the movie location.
I think this is a sound plan and will more than justify the price — not to mention the extraneous 3,000 square feet. Why? Because it’s good to have goals! And the ghosts haven’t had anyone to haunt in a long time.
Readers, have you ever stayed in haunted mansion? And which part of my grand scheme do you want in on?