Happy Black Friday, friends! The Chicks thought we’d share what our dream Black Friday buys would be. Read on to see what might motivate us to brave those crazy crowds.
In elementary school, I would have immediately said, “A horse! A real live horse of my very own!” But by junior high, this would have been replaced with: “The chance to buy a ticket to meet—or, better yet, marry—Paul McCartney!” And in high school, I would likely have been willing to camp out overnight in a parking lot simply for the fun and adventure of doing so, irrespective of the great deals being offered the following day. Now that I’m a grown-up, however, it would take something truly important—say, world peace, or an invitation to a dinner party hosted by Julia Child—to get me to brave the crowds and craziness of a Black Friday sale. I’d much rather just pay the extra money and order whatever it is online.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The only thing that would inspire me to camp out overnight on Black Friday is a ridiculously low sale price on a package trip to Bronte Country. It’s #1 on my bucket list, my dream trip, my white whale – meaning the trip always seems out of reach for me. You have no idea how obsessed I am with this dream. I’m actually encouraging my child to spend a future semester abroad in England so I can visit her there, and by visit her there, I mean go to Bronte Country. As to more practical Black Friday dreams, I hear an air fryer is very useful. Would I camp out for one? No. But if you hear of one being sold for five or ten bucks, let me know.
Today, I will be at home, shopping in my pajamas, trolling cyber bargains. There are three “deals” that could entice me to leave the house and brave the crowds and parking lot mayhem (assuming I could get them dirt cheap): First, the services of a professional shopper who would find, buy and beautifully wrap the perfect gift, at a ridiculously low price, of course, for each of the people on my list (including my mom). Second, two round-trip airline tickets to anywhere in the world with no black-out dates for $50. And third, and most desired, a gift certificate for a completely written custom synopsis for my WIP, which would expound in dazzling detail all the brilliant plot points, some of which are still a bit muddy, along with the perfect ending. (I prefer to write the novel myself, but would gladly forgo the thrill of writing the synopsis if that were possible.) Ellen, the air fryer sounds handy. I’ve been hearing about crock pots that actually brown the meat. I might check for one of those online.
Here’s what I wish I could buy on Black Friday: a house! I’ve been house hunting, and it’s crazy making. In this market, you have to be committed enough to make a major purchase that will affect the rest of your life (gulp), but not be devastated if you don’t get it. I want to be able to go to the house store and browse through a selection of reasonably priced homes until I find one I like. Then, I want to walk up to the cashier and say, “I’d like this one please” and not have to guess how much I’d have to pay for her to say yes. Maybe I could even get it at 50% off because it’s a “door buster.” I mean, sure I’d have to wait in line, but if it didn’t work out I could just bring it back to the store within 30 days for a full refund. All right, I’m off to the house store; wish me luck!
I’m one of those people who’s still shopping on Dec. 24th. I’ll even find an excuse to go (What? We’re out of tape again?). The prices are low, the stores are deserted so I can concentrate, and people are always so friendly. This year my daughter and I will head out to random stores on Black Friday just for kicks. I don’t have anything in mind to buy. (Except maybe a Roomba, so I will never have to vac ever again.) But I’m actually okay with crowds. I miss them here in NH sometimes, so I’ll head to NYC to see the lit tree at Rock Center soon (but not the lighting itself–that was a bit much, even for me). I can tell you one thing I’d never camp out for: that new Facebook Portal thing that follows you around your house so that whoever you’re talking to gets to see your messy house (Roomba, Santa Baby!) and whatever unflattering yoga pants you’re wearing because you’re planning to write all day ho ho ho.
Happy shopping to all who brave the crowds. I will not be heading out this year. Last time practically did me in, what with the starting on Thursday night (please, can’t we sleep first?) and the discounts that go something like “Receive a $15 gift card for your next purchase after your purchase of $75 or more!” Seriously retailers, isn’t it enough that I’m spending my money in your store right now? Also, can’t you just take a percentage right off the top immediately, like in the days of yore (when percentages were taken off for whole days or even weeks at a time)? I resent the ticking clock of say, 30% off the entire purchase that, for no apparent reason, ends at 11. It’s like 10:59? Discount. One Minute Later? No Discount! Sheesh. (Special note to the Lady Who Stood Behind Me For An Hour And A Half During Black Friday Last Time: You do not have to breathe down the neck of the person in front of you in order to keep your place in line. And shuffling forward two steps for every one step I took will not make the line move faster. I really enjoyed your neverending soliloquoy about the great deal on Mimi’s new boots, and the incessant poking of said boot box into my back, too. Thanks for that.) Anyway, have a great Friday, all—whatever you’re doing today!
Readers: Do you have any Black Friday dream buys – or did you go to an actual sale?
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