Switch bodies—and lives—for a day à la Barbara Harris and Jodie Foster (or, if you prefer, Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan)? Sign us up! It’s Freaky Friday Chicks-style, and we’re talking about who we’d swap places with—at least temporarily.
I have to admit, I’d be a little embarrassed to have another adult (like, say, Jennifer Garner) switch with me, much as I really do love my life. (Dust bunnies? Right this way. Writing deadlines and a mind-blowingly-boring new diet plan? Be my guest. A doggie whose obedience skills are so minimal that he couldn’t attend his own canine family reunion last weekend? Welcome to my world.) But then I realized that my 10-year-old granddaughter is already very grown up, and she would love to be in charge. She’d probably have me all organized by the time we switched back. And I’d love to go to school and be smart in math and take Irish dance lessons. What would she get out of this deal? Well, she might want to be a kid again, STAT. But also, this year she would not be a dog again for Halloween. Ever since her first Pottery Barn dog costume (reordered each year until she sized out), that has been her biggest wish. (Not so much her younger sister, who inherited the costumes when she wanted to be Valdemort.) It’ll be the time of your life, eh, kid? Sometimes you just gotta say, What the heck. (Okay, that’s Risky Business, not Freaky Friday!)
I really struggled with this, which is great! It must mean that I pretty much like my life the way it is right now. Yeah, I’d love to switch with a billionaire for a day (or more) so I could pay off bills, fix my house, travel, and donate to all the causes I love. But that’s just for their money, not for their life.
I thought long and hard, and here’s what I came up with. If I could trade places with someone for a day, it would be a docent at the Bronte Parsonage. I’m obsessed with the Brontes and visiting their home is number one on my bucket list. This way, I’d not only get to do that, but as a docent, I’d have insider intel about the Brontes, like which moor walks were their favorites, and I’d get access to locations not available to your average tourist. Just writing this, I feel like I’m there already! But I’m not, sigh. Dang. If only I had that billionaire’s money and could hop on a plane tomorrow.
If I could spend a day in someone else’s shoes, and they in mine, I’d switch places with hubs. We’re happily married, but I believe the adage that you can’t really understand someone unless you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. Shoes wouldn’t be a big issue since mine and his are close to the same size. His inseam and my chest size would make switching problematic. Wait a minute. We switch bodies, too, right? So, not a problem.
I’d have to shave my face, which if hairs keep popping up on my chin may become a regular thing anyway. He’d have to shave his legs. I’d enjoy watching him tweeze. And I’d suddenly be tech savvy! Seeing what it feels like navigating technology with my brain would be a sobering revelation for him. Not to be too sappy (okay it’s sappy), the best part is he’d know from the inside of my heart how much he means to me. And he’d cry at Hallmark commercials.
I’m going to pick a fictional character—and one of my own, to boot. I’ve always been curious as to what it would feel like to be a man for a day (but for no longer than that, because I’m quite happy being a woman!). So if I could switch bodies with someone for a day, it would be Eric Byrne, Sally Solari’s ex-boyfriend/current BFF. He’s a nice guy with a snarky sense of humor, and is in pretty good shape, so I figure as men goes he’s as good a choice as any.
I’d get to see how it feels to have testosterone coursing through my system, to perform chin-ups with no training, and to get a shave with a straight razor and shaving cream in one of those old-time barbershops. And how fabulous it would be to go hiking and then simply step behind a tree when that morning cup of coffee was telling me it was time to leave! Plus, once I was back in my own body, I’d be able to write about Eric with ever so much more accuracy.
I know this is a total copy/paste of the movie(s), but I would love to trade places with my daughter. She’s in the thick of middle school angst, complete with test anxiety, mean girl frenemies, and worries about which scrunchie goes best with which outfit. It probably sounds crazy to want to return to the hell that is middle school, but I’d love to walk a mile—or B Hall—in her Vans. Of course, I wouldn’t mind if she experienced Working Mom World and all the juggling that entails. (I’m pretty sure she thinks I sit around eating bonbons, which isn’t true. I eat fun-size Snickers bars.) But mostly I want a glimpse into the secret life of my pre-teen so that I know what she’s going through, how I can help. Oh, and which scrunchie to wear with my sweat pants. (My FORMAL sweatpants. I’m guessing velvet?)
If I could trade places with anyone, I would run—not walk—to the magical portal and step into the life of my adorable dog, Nala. First, because people would always be referring to me as “adorable.” But also because she lives a righteous life: comfy beds all over the house so she can flop down whenever and wherever she chooses; treats on demand; food at regular times and in appropriate portions. Of course, she doesn’t get much variety in her diet, but I’ve been known to eat the same lunch every day for a week with no complaints. My dinner rotation has become a bit predictable, too. Aside from her cushy life, though, I would LOVE to know what goes on behind those big brown eyes. What was her life like before I met her? What are her true thoughts about the squirrels, deer, magpies, and bunnies? Where does she hurt and what would make it better? What does she like about living with us? Why does she ignore toys? On the flip side I’d like her to know some things, too. We’ll always come home. She doesn’t need to feel bad when age makes her tinkle on the floor. Plastic bags won’t hurt her. The UPS guy is harmless. And that unconditional love thing? I’d want to make sure she felt it, too.
Readers, what about you? Who would you switch places with for a day (or a week or maybe forever)? Or does the very idea of a cosmic switcheroo terrify you?
Did you enjoy this article? Subscribe to Chicks on the Case and never miss a post. Just click the button on the top right side of this page and let the fun begin!