The one in which Extra-Chirpy Chick does her best to build a case for Mondays. Inconceivable, you say? It’s all in how you look at things. Just grab your coffee and hear her out…
What day is it, Mystery Fans? That’s right, it’s everyone’s favorite: Monday. And I know you can hear me under that blanket/desk/coffeemaker/rock. Come out, come out, wherever you are! Time to rise and shine! Monday is a GREAT day to achieve!
No one is born hating Mondays. They’re an acquired distaste. But I had to give them a chance from the start because, well, I was born on a Monday.
Growing up as an almost-only-child in a kid-free neighborhood, I lived for school. Not because I was wild about learning and homework and gym class, but because I got to see my friends. Monday meant the end of a long, boring weekend. I was the first one at the bus stop; snow, rain, sleet, or gloom of morning. The only downer Mondays I encountered were in songs. Hello and good riddance, “Monday, Monday” (Mamas and the Papas, 1966), “Rainy Days and Mondays” (The Carpenters, 1971).
Mondays started getting a little less fun in college, thanks to the inevitable papers due after too much fun on the weekend, but I still had energy to spare. It wasn’t until I graduated and started working 9 to 7, with a 2.5-hour RT commute and a toddler at home, that reality dawned: Mondays sucked.
Mostly because, at 9 am sharp each Monday, the dread Editorial Meeting loomed. For us assistants, that meant we’d better have carefully read the literal boxes of 350-600 page manuscripts our bosses had dumped on us as they sashayed out of the office at 4 pm on Friday: “Can you give this (and this and this) a read and do up the reader reports for Ed Board on Monday? Thanks so much, darling, and have a great weekend—ta-ta!” A new Monday song became my motto: “Manic Monday” by the Bangles (did you know that was penned by Prince, by the way?).
Suddenly I understood all those motivational posters hanging in people’s offices and the break room and over the Xerox machine. Kittens desperately holding on upside down from branches, struggling turtles and oblivious sloths, etc.—you know the ones. Yep, they’re memes now, circulated every Monday morning on Facebook and Twitter and Insta, along with inspiring pics and quotes extolling the joys of caffeine.
Did I let those Boynton turkeys get me down, though? Heck no! Why? Well, for me, Sunday took over as the Most Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day of the week. Mondays required a lot of prep, you see, which had to be done on Sundays. Along with the grocery shopping and laundry. So Mondays became more of a #Goal, with the hard stuff already in the rear view mirror by the time they rolled around.
But in these stay-at-home, Groundhog Day times, Mondays have completely lost their power to stress and terrorize. Maybe even for good. They’re no longer special, unless you’re a fan of football, roses or vocal competitions. In fact, you can now dare to love them, and the whooshing sound they make as they fly by (okay, Douglas Adams was referring to deadlines when he said that, but same idea).
See? All of the days of the week are now equal. It is safe to get up. You’ve got this. Monday is that brand-new page in your planner, the next page in that novel you’re writing that will not end (go, Extra-Chirpy Chick, go!), the next page in that amazing book you’re reading. So let’s get ready to (Michael Buffer wrestling-announcer voice): Mooooooonday!!!!
Readers, what’s your very favorite thing about Mondays—or, just in case you can’t think of one right now, how do you deal with them?