Some things have felt a bit overwhelming for me lately, which has led me to think a lot about perspective.
The church I attended as a child had a steeple atop the chapel. After worship services had long since moved into the new auditorium, a grade-school friend and I climbed through the old baptistry and into the steeple which housed the by-then silent bells. It seemed so high. To my childish mind and experience it rivaled the top of the Empire State Building. Several years ago when I drove past the church for the first time in a couple of decades, it seemed so much smaller than I had remembered.
Growing up my family would travel every month or two from Memphis, north on Highway 51 to Lauderdale County to visit relatives on my mom’s side of the family. Highway 51 was a four-lane highway for the most part, and sections of it had two lanes traveling north and two lanes traveling south with a very wide median between them. A number of houses and businesses were located in that median. This fascinated me as a kid. I remember thinking that living in the median would be the coolest thing in the world — so much cooler than our house in a typical subdivision with brick-fronted homes and yards all exactly the same size. I once shared my thoughts about how fun it would be to live in the median. Daddy noted it would be kind of noisy, with all the traffic. And my mother said you couldn’t pay her to live there. Grown-ups are weird, I thought.
I always loved road trips, at least well into middle age. Hubs and I used to relish throwing a few things in a suitcase and hitting the road without much planning for a long weekend. I enjoyed the ride, the view, and the company, regardless of where we were going. Nowadays, trips for me are definitely about the destination more than the journey. With arthritis and achy joints, trips my husband and I used to make in one long day driving now are spread out over two, maybe even three days. Our visit to Tennessee for Christmas a couple of months ago ended with both of us coming down with Covid. (If I’ve ever wished there really was a teleporter like on Star Trek it was on this trip.) After our first night in a hotel on the way back to Michigan, we woke up feeling so miserable that my husband called the desk, booked us for another night and we fell back into bed. We slept through the whole day and night without even turning on the TV. It was the best decision we made on the trip!
Has your perspective changed on some things as you’ve aged, changed jobs, moved to a new place, struggled with health issues? Share in comments.
Chicks on the Case 
We moved to FL from MA six years ago and it’s hard being away from family and friends. It’s not so easy making friends here as I have chronic pain and often have to cancel plans, plus I don’t drive. I can’t believe this small city full of 65+ doesn’t have a seniors center. The small town I was from in MA has one. I would love to find someone to talk books and tv programs about and how the area is after the hurricane while enjoying coffee or whatever!!
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Aw, Queen–we’re so glad you come here to Chicks to hang out with us! Have you tried your local library? They might know of some places/programs, or even have some of their own.
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Our local library has been closed since the hurricane and they do not know when they will reopen. I thought of that too, joining in some of the programs they offer.
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Hoping you find some community soon, Queen! In the meantime, thanks for hanging out with us Chicks and chatting about books.
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Traveling is definitely not as fun. I love being where I’m going. The getting there, well, where’s that teleporter?
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Yes, would love having a teleporter!
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Like you, I used to love car trip vacations. It’s the only kind we took when I was a child. When I had my own kids, and shared driving with my husband, they were a lot of fun. But twice I fell asleep at the wheel, once by myself, and once with a carful of family and pulling the camping trailer. After that, I never trusted myself with long distance driving. I don’t do much of it at all anymore. I still love to vacation and usually fly there.
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I also enjoy car trips (when I’m not the one driving). I’ve always wondered about doing a long train trip…it seems so charming.
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Yes! With the double-decker! (Those are only on the Western routes, I think. I’ve done NY to FL and…not charming.)
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I’ve traveled on trains overnight in Europe in sleeping cars. Two to a room with bunk-like beds and a sink. There are safety belts attached to the beds, so you won’t fall out. A little tight but a whole lot of fun–even, I dare say, a bit charming!
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I even enjoyed vacations as a kid, piled in the backseat with my brother and sister! It was probably less fun for my parents, who had to listen to us!
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Vicky, what a lovely perspective on perspective! While you watched the medians in the car as a kid, I gazed into the endless woods on the other side of the Merritt Parkway. I imagined myself as a survivalist, living where no one could see me. Now, after many years in NYC, I am surrounded by woods, looking out. (I’m not as wild about the survivalist idea, though, thanks very much.)
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You’ve got the best of both worlds, Lisa! Getting to live in a nice home and gazing into (and visiting) the woods.
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Lisa, my favorite way to enjoy the “wilderness” is in an out-of-the-way hotel with a great view — and a spa!
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With age comes wisdom, not to mention aches and pains and loss of stamina. We used to love road trips and thought nothing of 12-hour driving days. Now, about 4 hours is the limit. I’ve always hated flying because of the hassles and lack of space in the planes, but now I simply would not subject myself to it for anything short of a major emergency. We’ve also found that the number of our friends has dwindled, but for me at least, the Internet has taken up the slack. Look at all these classy Chicks I get to hang out with on a regular basis!
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Hurrah! And we get to hang out with you, Tom!
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Tom, I have enjoyed the advent of visiting with friends via Zoom cocktail parties!
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Thanks for this post on perspective, Vickie. (And I’ve always wanted a transporter. That, or a time machine.)
As my kids get older, I’ve realized that I’m past the when-are-the-kids-going-to-grow-up to the oh-no-don’t-leave-me stage of parenting.
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You are a sweet mom, Jen!
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I’m finding I am enjoying travel more and wishing I could do it more. If only I didn’t have this stupid job. On the other hand, without the job, I couldn’t afford to travel….
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The job, sigh. Aye, that’s the rub.
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Love this, Vickie. I read it earlier but didn’t comment because I couldn’t think of anything to say. But then I took a break after one of my writing hours—where I feel like I’m just slogging through sentences— and checked to see if I had an email I’ve been expecting. I was irritated it wasn’t there, but what WAS there was a nice note from a reader telling me how much she liked my work. So … perspective? Quit worrying about what ISN’T happening and revel in what IS happening.
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So true, Becky! Perfect inspiration.
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Oh my. What about my perspective on things hasn’t changed? I truly enjoyed my work as a litigation paralegal until older kiddo attempted to take their life in 2013. That brought about a switch to working in the non-profit health services sector.
I was a huge sports fan until younger kiddo got serious about music and I turned into a band parent.
A gluten allergy that developed in my forties turned me from a beer drinker to a wine and, now, Irish whiskey drinker.
Who knows what changes in perspective the future will bring? I’m pretty sure I’ll stay a cat guy though.
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Love the way you roll, J.C.! Slainte and meow.
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Jim, it sounds like you’ve found the right roadmap for life. Cheers!
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J.C. Kenney, I’m so sorry. You’re an amazing dad – for humans AND cats!
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Houses on the median–wow! I’ve never seen that. I wonder if they’re still there….
Like so many of you, I now dread driving more than about four or five hours in any one day. But I do love road trips–especially arriving at the motel and then finding some local gem of a diner which serves mile-high club sandwiches and malts!
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I, too, get very excited about food possibilities along the route. I’ve run into some interesting situations chasing places off the highway that serve ice cream. (I almost never find them.)
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— and pancakes! Leslie, finding a down-home diner is always a treat! John and I have fantasized about planning a road trip including fun attractions, like the world’s biggest bottle of ketchup and largest ball of twine!
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I’m not so much into pancakes, but yay for waffles, eggs, and sausage links! And when Robin and I drove across the country many years ago, we had this great book called “The Best Roadside Attractions of the USA” or something like that. Biggest ball of twine? Yes! The Flintstones Park? Yes! The Tupperware Museum? Yes, yes, yes!
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The Tupperware Museum would be great for practical souvenirs. But, I’d probably spend more than I should!
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Such a thoughtful post, Vickie. It’s funny, I was just thinking about something like this when I woke up. I used to daydream about guys I had crushes on. Now I daydream about finding the perfect fibers for my latest needlepoint canvas and the stunning result when I’m done!
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You and Keenan should do a gallery show.
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I bet your dreamboat, Jer, would take you shopping at the craft store and then out to lunch!
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One thing that has definitely changed for me as I’ve aged is staying focused on the present moment. I don’t get caught up in browbeating myself about what’s happened in the past since I can’t changed it. The same with not allowing anticipation about what hasn’t happened yet stress me out.
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I’m still working on that perspective, Anna! But I agree it’s the best path to a less stressful life.:)
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Aw, Queen, I’m so sorry for your chronic pain! (I’ve had a hip replacement and am looking at a knee replacement soon.) I hope you can find a book club near you. You could perhaps Uber to the library?
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I’m thinking about foods I used to love or hate, and how that’s flipped! Grapefruit seemed so bitter and icky — and now my brother sends us a box from his yard in AZ every Feb and we can hardly wait! But why did I ever think Velveeta, Veg-All, and frozen waffles were actually food, let alone good?!!?
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And to think I used to hate Brussels sprouts and mushrooms–now two of my favorite foods!
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Velveeta plus Wonder Bread plus Miracle Whip. Yum.
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You are a sick woman!
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Vickie, first, massive hugs for post-COVID recovery and the health issues you’ve been dealing with. Sending oodles of support to you. ❤
I think the greatest perspective I've gained is figuring out what really matters. It sounds a bit trite, I know, but people and relationships are what I hold most dear. The rest is gravy.
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All the hugs, Vickie!!! ❤️❤️❤️
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