I’ve been thinking a lot lately about difficult long-term projects: how much endurance they require, how there are points where the desired outcome seems impossible, and how giving up may actually seem like the logical (and more attractive) option. For example, in my teaching job, it has been necessary to produce scholarship. Here’s how that process has tended to go.
- Have jolt of awareness that remaining employed demands publishing of artifact. Summon vague wisp of potential idea.
- Launch on research “quest” (jaunty euphemism for painfully methodical gathering and reading of materials).
- Gasp, moan, and fight to remain calm upon realization that your idea has already been articulated by other people, with better style than you could ever manage.
- Keep expanding/focusing/swerving around your topic until you carve out previously unexplored niche.
- Manufacture abstract dotted with shiny glimmers of future goodness. Refer to existing critics and theorists to indicate possession of proper knowledge base but, most importantly, remember to say that you will “demonstrate the significance of” the topic rather than “talk about how cool it is.”
- Submit until a willing audience appears.
- Rejoice over acceptance, despite chilling enormity of what you’ve just promised to deliver and have yet to create.
- Make notes. Make timeline. Make coffee. Make apologies to family.
- Draft fast to counter horrifying blank page mode—i.e., blurt out nonsensical cornucopia of huge generalizations, desperate connections, and ludicrous evidence.
- Review, reorganize, and refine (aka “wrestle”) to a workable core, but save initial ramblings in different file to pilfer at later time if necessary.
- Commence another researchapalooza.
- Discover that you are being pulled in new direction, which renders more than half of current draft irrelevant.
- Gnash teeth and pull hair. Vent. Give up.
- Go for walk. Go for run. Go for drinks.
- Be shocked when random epiphany prompts another attempt (thanks, subconscious). Incorporate new concept, which leads to unexpected progress.
- Live in the zone. Hear self explicate project to every unfortunate person who asks how you are. Watch their eyes glaze over.
- Rework until there is an undeniable logic to the discussion, which you even sorta like. Faint twinkle of light at end of tunnel appears.
- Continue revision: number of phases at this point will depend on how long you have to complete the project, how much sleep you need to function, and how many times you can reread your draft without shrieking in the manner of gothic heroine pursued by dangerous monster.
- Experience perceptible shift to concern with voice. Tighten, transition, thesaurusize, tweak. Become obsessed with alternative ways to say “relevant.”
- Locate proofreader (may require begging, pleading, and bribing). Make appropriate changes. Recheck quotations, complete bibliography, format manuscript.
- Change title 126 times, only to return to the original.
- Labor until you feel the click—that joyful internal affirmation of completion—or until the deadline arrives and you are forced to end the misery.
- Wake from writing coma. Notice house is mess, health is mess, self is mess. Relearn how to live among humans.
- Celebrate completion and vow never, ever to do this again. Break resolution as soon as memory of suffering fades.
There are obvious similarities to writing mysteries here, as well as to countless other extended projects! What do you do to keep going forward when you are in the midst of a demanding project, dear readers? OR what other thoughts do you have about making it through such projects?
Chicks on the Case 
What delicious torture! You’ve brought back wonderful memories of the single article I published as an independent scholar. In writing mysteries, it’s the clues, and red herrings, and placement and timing and the subtle connections that all drive me crazy, but that moment when things click is priceless. It makes it all worthwhile. A deadline is what keeps me going, when I want to chuck it all and start again.
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Thank you, Mary! It’s such a roller coaster, right? And agree wholeheartedly…it’s all about The Click!!
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Project management in action! I don’t do as much PM work in my day job as I used to, but I will never forget those stressful days and nights leading up to a key deadline. And the relief when the project crosses the finish line.
Sounds just like writing a book. Go figure!
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JC, you just made me realize that maybe all of that stress and mayhem was training for our next act…we just didn’t know it yet. 🙂
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I was going to say it sounds a lot like writing a novel.
One step at a time. Libations and celebration when it’s done.
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Love it, Liz!
*taps on counter* Libations and celebrations all around!!
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I agree, having never done this thing, but having written other stuff. Fiction stuff. I keep going by charting my progress on a spreadsheet. That way I can either lament and beat myself up, or rejoice and celebrate, depending of that progress, or lack of. You’ve made me VERY happy I don’t have to do these things that you do!
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Ha ha, thank you, Kaye! I’m glad you’re happy. 🙂
And I can see the value of the spreadsheet for tracking…that’s dedication.
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This is absolutely brilliant, Cyn, and I so wish I could show it to my academic father, who used to say, “There are only two times I’m miserable—when I’m writing and when I’m not writing.”
And yes, I can relate right now, as I brainstorm (or brain-drizzle, more like) ideas for a new book.
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Oh, I adore that, what your father said. Absolutely!!
(Brain-drizzle is my new favorite word, too. You’re awesome.)
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My protocol is simple – write every day, even if I’m writing dreck. Incomplete, bad, finished, good. It is always easier to edit than to create.
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So right, Tom. Very wise. And I love the consistency of the protocol.
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I’ve never written a novel, so I don’t understand the specifics of writing long-form fiction. But I wrote a doctoral dissertation, so the expression “marathon, not a sprint” rings true for me as well. There are so many steps to writing a long-form piece. I live for deadlines. It’s my greatest motivation. That, and writing groups. I owe my writing group for helping me reach the finish line.
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Fariba, exactly! We definitely said that to each other during the whole dissertation process, whenever we felt like it was an impossible task (which was pretty much the whole time until we walked out the defense). So great that your writing group was there for you…and congratulations on crossing the finish line!
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Cynthia, this is such a wonderful post–and also terrifying, as I am under a writing deadline right now. In my experience, it’s like the little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead: When a project is good, it is very, very good, and when it is bad it is horrid. (The “bad” includes the whole actual process). I use a word count tracker so I can literally see the words joyfully pile up, bird by bird. Okay, I have to go write now, because I’m panicking. Thank you for this…I think?
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Yes! I use the word count feature, and I try to be happy about any amount above zero!
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LOL, Jen! I like your approach.
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Oh, dear Lisa, you are not alone…been there, done that. Hang in there and (bird by bird) soon you will fly!
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Curl up into a little ball and moan and whine. Unfortunately, that doesn’t actually help me get anything done.
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Ha ha! That is so relatable. While it may not help anything get done, I do think it is very healthy to vent!
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Thanks for this post, Cyn, and it reminds me why I didn’t go the academic route. For fiction writing, I definitely take things step by step. Little rewards (like Liz mentioned) also help!
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Step by step seems to be the winning method, Jen!!
ps: For some reason, when I read that, Little Rewards sort of stood out as a potential book title. That must be the universe getting in on the brainstorming.
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OMG, Cyn, “publish or perish” isn’t enough?! You have to do “scholarship” too??!! I can’t even. How do you do it without incurring a breakdown?
That being said, I would LOVE to read your scholarship. I bet it’s a billion miles more entertaining than what your fellow scholars usually produce.
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You’re so sweet! I don’t know if it is entertaining to anyone other than myself, but I have 100% included little jokes in the final manuscripts. (It’s scholarly humor, but humor nonetheless!)
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Long projects are a different kind of suffering. Glad you’ve brought your scholarly project to a close, Cyn! I’m currently only on deadline for daily newspaper job. Can be stressful, especially when sources are difficult to reach. But, at least they are met quickly — unlike a book deadline! My brother, the professor, is about to wrap up a documentary with a colleague, I believe.
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Wow, Vickie!! Deadlines for the newspaper sound stressful for sure–you are so brave to manage that daily. Congrats to you (and your brother)–would love to hear more about your job (and his documentary)!
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Thanks for this post–I really needed it. Just pulled out a 30-year-old project and although it’s not an academic piece, everything you called out pretty much nailed what has gone on with it. But I want to get it out there really badly, so I was all over it this morning. Yea! Thanks. xo
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Congratulations, Sue!! That’s fantastic. Cheering for you!!
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Ahhhhh, so very relatable, Cynthia! The one thing that keeps me plodding toward a deadline (other than abject terror–ha!) is that old one-bite-at-a-time mentality. It lulls me into thinking it’s more manageable!
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You know, it probably is more manageable on our brains to think about one “bite” (love that phrasing) at a time. So wise, you are.
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