We all know the usual TV-roommate scenario: massive, affordable apartment, no dirty dishes (unless you’re rooming with Oscar Madison), a fun (and gorgeous) group of besties and a nonstop laugh track. Today the Chicks share the real-life roomie scoop!
I haven’t had many official roomies in my life (although I can vouch for El as a great conference roomie!) However, my husband had a good friend “temporarily” living with him in TN when I moved in–and he stayed until we sold the house and moved to NH. Our nosy neighbors were appalled, thinking there was some kind of Will & Grace situation going on–or even a racy menage (the guys commuted to work together and I worked at home). We got a kick out of the rumors. Bonus: no visitors ever showed up on our doorstep with pamphlets or sales stuff, the way they did for everyone else in the subdivision.
I’ve had a plethora of roommates over time. Only one or two were problematic and even those were manageable. I will say that one of my favorites was definitely my cousin Felicia. She found herself needing a place to live in the late 80s. I finally had my NY apartment all to myself after years of roomies, but I very reluctantly agreed to let her stay with me, with a proviso that it would be for a limited time.
I relocated to Los Angeles in 1990. Felicia – who I call Fish – is still in the apartment.
Fish and I weren’t close when she moved in. My dad was an only child; she was the daughter of his first cousin. She grew up on Long Island with three girl cousins on that side of the family, all of whom were extremely close. When we were kids, nice as they were, I always felt like a fifth wheel. But as adults who came to live together, Fish and I became close, and I adore her. On a recent visit to the city, we met up for lunch and I joined her on some of her dog walker duties. I can’t imagine missing a visit with her when I go home. Felicia got the the gift of a life-long apartment, but I got the gift of a life-long friend who I’m lucky enough to also call family.
I had one roommate who seemed ideal on the surface. I didn’t see that much of her because we had different working hours, and she went home to visit her parents most weekends. Perfect, right? But, she drove me nuts because she wouldn’t clean up after herself! We weren’t exactly Felix and Oscar. I’m not a neatnik like Felix, trust me! I didn’t care what her bedroom looked like, and I didn’t mind dusting and vacuuming the common areas. But, she consistently wouldn’t clean up in the kitchen. We didn’t make dinner together; we had different schedules. But she would make a gloppy mess and then leave her dirty dishes stacked in the sink—she didn’t even rinse them! When I’d mention it to her, she’d always say, “I’m going to wash them later.” I didn’t expect her to wash up five minutes after she finished dinner, but two days later… they were still in the sink. And we had a freaking dishwasher!
Have been pretty lucky in the roommate department. Was just thinking about that yesterday, when something happened.
Me (on call with food company): I was eating some of your chips and suddenly there was a horrible taste, so I looked down and there was a super dark chip with a murky, mud-like substance on it. Now my mouth tastes like chemicals.
Customer Service Person: Mmmhmm. (Asks 5,000 questions.) Can you hold a minute?
Me (trying to stay calm though I’m positive my tongue is going numb): Sure.
Customer Service Person (ten minutes later): From your description, my supervisor believes that it’s what we in the industry call a “food lump.” It’s when random ingredients bond together by mistake. We don’t believe you have anything to worry about. Oh, and we’ll send you some coupons so you can replace this batch. Ta ta.
Husband: Don’t worry. I’m going to follow you around all night and make sure you’re alive. #AndHeDid #BestRoommateEver
Have you ever had a roommate that drove you bonkers (or vice versa)? Let us know in the comments–names have been changed to protect the guilty!
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