I’d like to thank the Chicks for having me on as a Guest Chick, but if you don’t mind, I’m going to turn my blog post over to Waylon Jenkins, Zombie Cosmetologist, the hero of my story PLUCK & COVER. He’s always bugging me to let him have his say so we might as well give him the platform. As a special prize for listening to him natter on, anyone who comments below is automatically entered into a giveaway for a free PLUCK & COVER ebook. —JD Blackrose, Zombie Wrangler.
**WINNER WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER!** CONGRATS, MARLA B–you have won JD Blackrose (& Waylon’s) copy of PLUCK & COVER!**
It’s 2020. Of Course There is a Zombie.
Laaaadies! I’m a zombie, having been turned during the Civil War. I also turned to special effects makeup and cosmetology to hide my scars and before I knew it, shabam! I was a make-up artist to the stars in Hollywood. I reinvent myself every decade or so to hide the fact that I don’t age—and I was doing really well until someone carved up Jimmy the Duck.
The local police captain thought the zombie had to be the perp, because who else needs the spare parts? Yeah, like, I’d want anything from Jimmy the Duck. I’m not stupid. And yet before I knew it, I had to forego my appointment schedule and find the true killer to clear my name. It was exhausting (and unpaid) work, but I did meet a truly exceptional person, Dr. Sorya Sang, the local Medical Examiner, and she pressed my zombie buttons. Too bad I can’t have sex since my, well, that part, has a tendency to fall off.
Meanwhile, I’m trying to help actresses get ready for Zoom auditions. Who would have thought of such a thing? Pro tip: These techniques work well for virtual Christmas Zooms. Use them to look great and this year Cousin Mable can’t call you fat, that ninny. Who does she think she is?
- Lighting is key. Face a window or get a ring light. Sit straight in front of the camera so you are head on, not below and not above. No amount of concealer can hide shadows created by poor lighting.
- Go light but even on the foundation. Use a brush or warm fingers to apply and concentrate on the center of your face. That’s where everyone will be looking. Did you see I mentioned warm fingers? Cold fingers like mine don’t work as well.
- If you have time for nothing else, concealer, eyebrows, and mascara are your musts. Eyebrows are the frame for the painting that is your face. Don’t forget them and don’t overpluck. If I had a penny for every time I’ve said that. (Le sigh.)
- Muted matte lips are my favorite for zoom. Bright, glossy red is tough to pull off on a Zoom call when all anyone can see is your face. Not saying you can’t, just saying muted is usually better so go with a matte red or even a plum. Blot and check your teeth before the call, just in case.
- Keep your hands away from your face. This is good for health reasons, but it also makes you look more confident and keeps your makeup where you want it.
- That being said, it is better to feel good than to look good, but why not have both? Stay healthy and safe!
(JD here.) Thanks, Waylon, good tips, now if only you’d get on with things. You’re holding up the last book.
If you want more of the fabulous Waylon Jennings, check out his exploits in PLUCK & COVER, and its follow-up, HIDE & CHIC, both of which are on Amazon. He also escapes onto his own Instagram from time to time on @ZombieCosmetologist. You can follow me and my slightly less glamorous lifestyle @JDBlackrose on Facebook, Twitter, and on www.SlipperyWords.com.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
PLUCK & COVER is the first in the Zombie Cosmetologist Novellas, a new series by J.D. Blackrose, author of THE SOUL WARS and THE DEVIL’S BEEN BUSY.
Praise for PLUCK & COVER:
“Waylon Jenkins is not your typical detective. For one thing, he’s a cosmetologist and make-up artist. For another, he’s dead. Now, this zombie with a keen wit and a warm (non-beating) heart is teaming up with a ghost and the local police captain to find out who’s killing and dismembering men in LA. PLUCK & COVER delivers paranormal chills, plenty of twists and turns, and lots of laughs along with a one-of-a-kind protagonist readers will want to check in with again and again. “- Casey Daniels, author of DON OF THE DEAD (Pepper Martin Series)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
J.D. Blackrose loves all things storytelling and celebrates great writing by posting about it on her website, www.slipperywords.com. She has published multiple series through Falstaff Books, as well as numerous short stories. She spends a lot of time chatting with the imaginary people in her head and is often accused of having a hearing problem. As a survival tactic, she has mastered the art of looking interested. She credits her parents for teaching her to ask questions, and in lieu of facts, how to make up answers.
Readers, say hey to Waylon (and J.D. also, of course) in the comments section below and have a chance to win that ebook copy of DUCK & COVER!