I’d like to thank the Chicks for having me on as a Guest Chick, but if you don’t mind, I’m going to turn my blog post over to Waylon Jenkins, Zombie Cosmetologist, the hero of my story PLUCK & COVER. He’s always bugging me to let him have his say so we might as well give him the platform. As a special prize for listening to him natter on, anyone who comments below is automatically entered into a giveaway for a free PLUCK & COVER ebook. —JD Blackrose, Zombie Wrangler.
**WINNER WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER!** CONGRATS, MARLA B–you have won JD Blackrose (& Waylon’s) copy of PLUCK & COVER!**
It’s 2020. Of Course There is a Zombie.
Laaaadies! I’m a zombie, having been turned during the Civil War. I also turned to special effects makeup and cosmetology to hide my scars and before I knew it, shabam! I was a make-up artist to the stars in Hollywood. I reinvent myself every decade or so to hide the fact that I don’t age—and I was doing really well until someone carved up Jimmy the Duck.
The local police captain thought the zombie had to be the perp, because who else needs the spare parts? Yeah, like, I’d want anything from Jimmy the Duck. I’m not stupid. And yet before I knew it, I had to forego my appointment schedule and find the true killer to clear my name. It was exhausting (and unpaid) work, but I did meet a truly exceptional person, Dr. Sorya Sang, the local Medical Examiner, and she pressed my zombie buttons. Too bad I can’t have sex since my, well, that part, has a tendency to fall off.
Meanwhile, I’m trying to help actresses get ready for Zoom auditions. Who would have thought of such a thing? Pro tip: These techniques work well for virtual Christmas Zooms. Use them to look great and this year Cousin Mable can’t call you fat, that ninny. Who does she think she is?
- Lighting is key. Face a window or get a ring light. Sit straight in front of the camera so you are head on, not below and not above. No amount of concealer can hide shadows created by poor lighting.
- Go light but even on the foundation. Use a brush or warm fingers to apply and concentrate on the center of your face. That’s where everyone will be looking. Did you see I mentioned warm fingers? Cold fingers like mine don’t work as well.
- If you have time for nothing else, concealer, eyebrows, and mascara are your musts. Eyebrows are the frame for the painting that is your face. Don’t forget them and don’t overpluck. If I had a penny for every time I’ve said that. (Le sigh.)
- Muted matte lips are my favorite for zoom. Bright, glossy red is tough to pull off on a Zoom call when all anyone can see is your face. Not saying you can’t, just saying muted is usually better so go with a matte red or even a plum. Blot and check your teeth before the call, just in case.
- Keep your hands away from your face. This is good for health reasons, but it also makes you look more confident and keeps your makeup where you want it.
- That being said, it is better to feel good than to look good, but why not have both? Stay healthy and safe!
(JD here.) Thanks, Waylon, good tips, now if only you’d get on with things. You’re holding up the last book.
If you want more of the fabulous Waylon Jennings, check out his exploits in PLUCK & COVER, and its follow-up, HIDE & CHIC, both of which are on Amazon. He also escapes onto his own Instagram from time to time on @ZombieCosmetologist. You can follow me and my slightly less glamorous lifestyle @JDBlackrose on Facebook, Twitter, and on www.SlipperyWords.com.
ABOUT THE BOOK:
PLUCK & COVER is the first in the Zombie Cosmetologist Novellas, a new series by J.D. Blackrose, author of THE SOUL WARS and THE DEVIL’S BEEN BUSY.
Find it on Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/yakq55eg
Add it on Goodreads: https://tinyurl.com/yaoup6bm
Praise for PLUCK & COVER:
“Waylon Jenkins is not your typical detective. For one thing, he’s a cosmetologist and make-up artist. For another, he’s dead. Now, this zombie with a keen wit and a warm (non-beating) heart is teaming up with a ghost and the local police captain to find out who’s killing and dismembering men in LA. PLUCK & COVER delivers paranormal chills, plenty of twists and turns, and lots of laughs along with a one-of-a-kind protagonist readers will want to check in with again and again. “- Casey Daniels, author of DON OF THE DEAD (Pepper Martin Series)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
J.D. Blackrose loves all things storytelling and celebrates great writing by posting about it on her website, www.slipperywords.com. She has published multiple series through Falstaff Books, as well as numerous short stories. She spends a lot of time chatting with the imaginary people in her head and is often accused of having a hearing problem. As a survival tactic, she has mastered the art of looking interested. She credits her parents for teaching her to ask questions, and in lieu of facts, how to make up answers.
Readers, say hey to Waylon (and J.D. also, of course) in the comments section below and have a chance to win that ebook copy of DUCK & COVER!
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a zombie cosmetologist before, Waylon, but your Zoom tips make a lot of sense. You sound like quite a character, and I love the titles of your books!
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Marla, You are JD and Waylon’s winner of DUCK & COVER, yay! Congrats! We will email you with details.
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Hi Marla, and Lisa, Waylon and I are so happy to provide you with Pluck & Cover.
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Yay! Thank you so much! Looking forward to reading the book!
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Thanks for your comment, Marla B! I’ll pass it on to Waylon for you since he’s busy with a demanding (sooooo Hollywood) client. He’ll be glad you enjoyed the post.
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Makeup tips from a zombie – I love it!
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Thank you! Who better to learn make-up than someone who has to hide his scars? 🙂
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Thank you so much for your kind words, Marla B! I’ll pass it on to Waylon since he’s busy with a demanding client. She’s soooo Hollywood. He’ll be glad you enjoyed the post.
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Dear J.D – what a wonderful series idea and Waylon obviously has the perfect credentials for the job. This sounds so fun so Pluck & Cover is definitely on my ‘to read’ list. And, Chicks had a previous blog post about finding the right book titles – did you and Waylon think of yours or was it your publishing company’s master title team? Thanks, Ruth
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Hi Ruth, I spent a RIDICULOUS amount of time coming up with the titles. They are all my work–and there are two more coming plus the four will be put in a collection. I’ll announce them and the crazy titles on my blog, so keep an eye out. Thanks for the comment. It makes me happy that people like the titles.
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I SO love this idea for a series–ha! Brilliant! Thank you so much for visiting the Chicks today, Waylon (and J.D.!), the new books sounds frightfully good!
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Thank you, Leslie. I really hope you enjoy them and that they give you some joy.
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J.D., lol! I love Waylon. I think I may have worked with him on a couple of shows here in Hollywood. 😉 Thanks so much for visiting with us today!
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Waylon here — I think we may have worked together, Ellen. Were you on that movie with that actor that one time? I bet that’s it.
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J.D., you and Waylon are a hoot! And Pluck and Cover sounds like so much fun. Thanks for hanging out today with the Chicks!
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It was an honor to be here. Thanks for reading!
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Hi, J.D. & Waylon! Thanks for being on the blog today. I’m going to use some of those Zoom tips. No matter how hard I try, though, I have a difficult time pulling off red lipstick…
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Waylon her. (JD is useless at this stuff.) Jennifer, red is fabulous–at the right time with the right application. Try matte plum as I said or go slightly lighter and do a mauve. If you have very light skin and still want to do red, use your finger to tap it on so it is a stain, not a whole application. Also, light skin usually needs a red with a cool tone. Good luck!
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Red lipstick does not give me that sexy-classic allure–I always look like I got caught with my mom’s makeup bag.
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Lisa, you aren’t the only one who has trouble. I like Nars lipstick matte pencils. They are so easy to apply. Just BLOT really well. https://www.narscosmetics.com/USA/cruella-velvet-matte-lip-pencil/0607845024545.html
–Yours in beauty,
Waylon
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JD, Since Waylon is sooo busy, please give him my best regards–it was very nice to meet him! And thank YOU for visiting Chicks today, and introducing us all to the field of zombie cosmetology–and whetting our appetites for your and Waylon’s new series. It sounds amaaaaazing and fun! (Does Waylon ever work with Drew Barrymore?)
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Hi Lisa! Thanks for having me and Waylon. Waylon never reveals who his clients are. Zombie Cosmetologist/client privilege is very important. He knows where all the facelifts are. As for me, I live a much quieter life typing away on my computer. I am under contract for a new urban fantasy trilogy, so that is taking up my time. Thanks again for me…ah, us.
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Lisa, I should mention that Waylon asked me to pass on that he likes Drew’s line of make-up, Flower by Drew, and in his upcoming post on my blog one of his favorite things are her gel sticks for cheeks and lips. Watch out for that post next week.
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